Rather than spend “too much” of my money on a motel room for the weekend like I planned earlier this month, I decided to save as much of my paycheck as possible rather than spend it on “luxuries”. Today I am deciding to go to my dad’s house to use the shower and to wash my clothes and maybe to get some drum practice in (instead of waiting one more day to get several hundred dollars deposited into my bank account but short by about $200 to get a decent bicycle from the Cyclepath store in Hayward. I am planning on purchasing a bicycle from that store next week so that I know for sure that I have enough money to afford the purchase (which includes a bicycle lock)).
Perhaps tomorrow I will go to the social security office in Hayward near Southland Mall (which is open between 9AM and 3PM on weekdays) to order a new social security card to be sent to my dad’s house despite my fears that the envelope will not arrive in a timely manner or else not arrive at all. I do not plan on renting a post office box until I have a greater need to receive packages and envelopes. The social security card is just an extra form of employment-related identification which I intend to keep in my backpack in case I need to look for another job (because I have encountered issues with using my birth certificate as a form of employment-related identification due to the fact that the original copy I have in my backpack is faded and tattered looking).
Perhaps I am just not as “uptight” as I was a few weeks ago now that I am starting to feel my way around the Bay Area and am getting a sense of how much things cost, what my needs and wants are, and what kinds of jobs and job locations suit me and which do not. So far, I really like my new job at the Ontrac facility in Fremont. Sometimes I sit or stand idly for a long time because packages are slow to arrive on the assembly line. At other times, the assembly line is loaded with packages and the sorters are busily grabbing packages and placing them in their designated zip code piles. Around 6AM, vans arrive and enter the warehouse and park next to the docks where the packages are stacked up by the sorters (and the delivery drivers proceed to load their vans with those packages).
I like my job more than most of the jobs I have had. I used to say that working as a student intern at Lawrence Berkeley Lab was my favorite job, but they only paid me $13.65 per hour and the job was contract rather than long-term and contingent upon the fact that I was a university student with decent grades. The timesheet screenshot below shows what my hourly pay currently looks like. Perhaps I should “hang out” at the facility until 8:30AM even when the other sorters leave around 7AM so that I get paid full-time (but I think it might be more strategic to just leave when the other sorters leave so that I do not look like an entitled miserly brat in comparison to the other employees who do not seem to loiter just to get paid more money).
So I had a chance to reason with myself about what I can realistically afford and what I cannot (though I do not think I will be at “cruising altitude” until I work at the facility for at least three weeks). I am telling myself to not waste money on things which make me appear to have more money and job security than I currently do. I can tell that I am in a “low key” kind of socioeconomic bracket in which I barely earn enough money from this one job to survive (and certainly not enough to pay my rent unless I am sharing a place with other people).
Also, I have lost my interest in using a tent as a place to “hang out” because tents make me feel claustrophobic, impoverished, and deprived of what I really want: a room of my own which is clean, safe, and private and which has running electricity, water, and a functional shower and toilet. In other words, I would be very happy to be able to live in a motel room (but I understand that would be a waste of my money given how hardcore I prepared to live outside). The less prissy and fragile I am, the less money I seem to waste on unnecessary pampering. This is the year I strongly believe that I will upgrade my standard of living (and not to regress back to ever being this poor again). Well, time to go do some laundry and shower my nasty body!
* By the way, the bicycle brand I am most fond of is Specialized (and the model I am most fond of is Sirrus) and I am hoping to get a bicycle of that brand within the next two weeks which costs approximately $700. Also, because I was looking forward to it so much, I plan to “splurge” on one night (if not two consecutive nights) at a motel room (in Fremont rather than in Dublin because the Motel 6 in Fremont is cheaper and more secluded and quiet than the Motel 6 in Dublin) and an eighth of magic mushrooms (not to do the whole quantity in one sitting but, rather, to use for “microdosing” (amounts smaller than 2 grams per session (and I am waiting until later in the year when I feel more economically and philosophically secure to do “heroic doses” larger than 7 grams per session (and I hope to do 14 grams in one session this year while on a weekend retreat in a hotel room by myself)))). While in my room I intend to catch up on computer programming assignments and philosophy writings. (I might put some kind of “disclaimer” prose page in Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com named “DISCLAIMER” in which I explain that every page which was added to that website prior to “DISCLAIMER” is meant to treated as a 2022 time capsule artifact which is not to be changed while pages published on that website in the year 2023 are meant to be malleable until 2024 (and then all content published in 2023 which remains on that website will also be treated as an immutable time capsule artifact)). That is because I do not want to have to keep editing the same page over and over again (which is depressing). After a certain point, I need to move on to new subject matter. Otherwise, I will feel depressed and anxious about my stagnation in life to the extent that my health and job security suffers. It is only natural that the quality of my writings (code and prose) will improve as a result of me getting more worldly experience in addition to book smarts.
One last thing: rather than rent a public storage unit (which typically does not afford me full-time access to my storage unit and which costs approximately $70 per month to rent), I will probably keep using my mom’s Toyota Matrix as a mobile storage unit to keep my possessions stored so that I do not have to take my entire backpack with me when I bike and ride BART to and from work while that car stays parked at the Dublin BART parking garage most of the time.
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To be honest, almost every day of my life has been harder than I imagined it would be for the past several years. Almost every day, I suffer from feeling that something is being stolen from me by other people who want to deprive me of relaxation, fun, and success. Today my jacket which contained the weed I recently bought mysteriously went missing while I left my stuff in “my” room at my dad’s house. This is not the first time items of mine mysteriously disappeared after leaving them in that house (and my parents deny that they had anything to do with my items going missing). I was not expecting to deal with so much adversity today. Almost every time I go to my legal residence I feel abused as a result. Consequently, rather than keep my belongings stored in “my” car or in “my” house, I will go ahead and rent a public storage unit as soon as possible and put most of my stuff in there.
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I think it would be most strategic for me to blame the police for my missing stuff. I bet they have super stealth “powers” which lets them steal my stuff without anyone I know or me noticing. Perhaps the police stole my weed and that prissy-looking black jacket in order to discourage me from doing so much weed because the police think that I might be jeapardizing my job security as a result. More likely, the police wanted to get high so they stole my weed. Well then! I have some money in my bank account from my mom which I might use to buy some new weed, a new lighter, and some shrooms to get ready for the weekend (which I am trying to get ready for). To avoid losing my mail, I will go ahead and try to apply for a post office box and a public storage unit as soon as possible. Once I have a post office box, then I will go to the Social Security Office to order a new Social Security Card to have mailed to my new P.O. Box address. That would be a good test of how to use my new and improved mail recieving system.
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