KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2023_ENTRY_531
The dream I most recently had was within the past twenty minutes. It is a few minutes before 4AM right now.
I remember the dream starting with me having a dream within a dream while sleeping in a warped version of my old bedroom in the house my brother and I grew up in. It was dark. Before I fell asleep briefly in that room, I heard my brother and my parents return home from some outing I did not attend and I did not tell anyone I was in that house. I heard them gossiping about someone who was on a vegan diet and how she only lived on blueberries and was crazy about her new protein option and how “It’s all hot water in here” seemingly in reference to the fact that they could hear my thoughts in real time and maybe even detect my physical presence inside the same house as them. I laid on the floor and dozed off for what seemed like ten minutes. In the middle of that dream I was speaking someone else’s Spanish words and feeling a sense of intense interest and morbid fear and curiosity as the feverish ranting continued. I woke up in the middle of saying something in Spanglish about how the ojos cause the most malos (maladies? malice?) by my brother standing over me startling me and I accidentally and reflexively jabbed him in the eye with a pink permanent marker pen I was holding. I was apologizing and saying that I meant no harm while my brother was stone faced and corpse like and I could see in the white part of one of his eyes a pink dot. Then I became aware of how unfamiliar and haunted mansion like the decor and architecture of that house was and asked my brother where we were and he still said with what sounded like genuine doubt and fear after pausing briefly that he did not know. (It was as though both of us had been kidnapped and placed in that creepy house). I asked if he was part of a dream I was having and if we were both dreaming while intently looking at the reddish black vintage gothic fabric covering the bed which was then a couch and I noticed my brother was gone as though I were merely imagining him all along. Then I decided to go full on psychonaut and explore the “map” of that “video game” by first venturing through one of the two doors I noticed leading out of that room and into a well lit (yet still blocking out sunlight) large Embassy Suites like terrarium with tropical green plants, artificial ponds, and a dining area. I noticed how richly detailed the scene was; especially the plants. Then I decided to venture into what I assumed was the entrance to the kitchen. As I did two guys wearing chartreuse safety vests walked along one of the paths on the other side of the dining area. I crouched in order to avoid being seen by them but they apparently knew I was there even though they didn’t appear to be looking at me based on what I heard them say to me without looking at me directly: “Don’t do anything but smoke cigarettes.” I thought that was them playing devil’s advocate by suggesting that I not insinuate that I want to become a restaurant worker and, instead, be more like my dad who was unemployed for the past 30+ years and smoking cigarettes more or less daily throughout that entire period. Then I was outside that building hanging out with my brother next to a trash can with a butane lighter attached to it and some recently used cigarettes in it which had whimsical printed designs and text on them and some even had glowing embers in them. I was apparently trying to get high on marijuana using some crumblings of dried cannabis which I had with me and whatever was left in those cigarettes (because some of them apparently contained weed) and I asked my brother if he trusted those cigarettes (to put in his mouth). He gave some kind of hesitant reply which seemed garbled or hard for me to remember. I figured that, since there was a lighter conveniently located at the top of that garbage can, it would be safe for me to smoke those used cigarettes because the flame from the lighter would be hot enough to kill any bacteria on those cigarettes. Then I heard across the way at a similar type of garbage can and cement bench seating area a group of office workers who were on smoke break talking and I thought I recognized one of those people as a guy from high school whom I had a crush on and who I now follow on social media and he apparently realized I was listening to him and called me out on it and then I woke up in whatever level of reality this note is being written inside of.
* * *
I just remembered the dream within the dream I had which I described in the section of this note above the three asterisks. I was apparently watching a television show or documentary in which my body and perception of reality beyond that video was not available. The video featured some white man wearing glasses laying on his stomach outside somewhere writing a bunch of notes on several pieces of paper such that the scenes flashed forward quickly such that each scene showed more notes and the man running around a larger area to write more notes. He was apparently compulsively writing cryptic notes which governmental propaganda was telling him to write. His writings became graffiti on rocks and, by that point in the video, the colorful and ornate graffiti was writing itself onto the rocks and covering it as though it were ants coating a piece of bread. I was chanting things in Spanglish compulsively as though I were that graffiti writer’s voice.
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