KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2023_ENTRY_526
03_JULY_2023: It is approximately 13 hours since I published this journal entry. I just wanted to say now that the words I published in this journal entry yesterday (and in many other journal entries I have written) use language which seems more vague, flippant, and insincere than words I would consider to be adequately high quality and pertaining to my standards because those words were intended by me to serve as a placeholder within a checkpoint update within the larger context of a chronological mapping of my mind map’s evolution. My mind is, of course, harder to pin down than is my brain. I can at least count all the neurons in my brain and trace each of their neural firings but it is hard to precisely model what exactly my mind is. (Note that my current worldview is a variant of panpsychism: the belief that all of nature is contained within a ubiquitous, indestructible, and irreducible field of consciousness. In other words, I believe that, because I believe all of nature is contained within one ubiquitous, indestructible, and irreducible mind, it is impossible to create a model of that all-encompassing mind which is not that mind itself).
02_JULY_2023: Update: I did not mean “sexist” in the note below. I meant something more like I felt that my mind was fixated too heavily on sex. What I wanted to convey is that I felt that there was an unfunny mean-spirited feel from how I thought people were treating me in CV. It’s like they would not let me decompress for even a millisecond in some parts. Don’t take what I write too seriously. It’s just my brain attempting to gain control over its map of reality and how the future unfolds (and to protect itself from pain).
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02_JULY_2023: Around 10PM I rode the BART train from Castro Valley BART to the West Dublin BART station. It feels so nice to be back in what seems to be a better place than Castro Valley for me to be hanging out at. Though I love Castro Valley (and always will) and had a marvelous time camping in the scenic wilderness region, I realize that there is also plenty of decent wilderness in the Dublin/Pleasanton region with hiking trails, some forests, and some hills. This area suits my temperament better because it feels more like being in the Central Valley like where Merced is located. I think Castro Valley is a bit overcrowded, claustrophobic, and some of the people are very annoying. It vaguely felt like being stranded at a Jesus Camp like place. It was hard for me to get a break from constant reminders of quaint sexism and other things which seem a bit anti modern. Now that I am in Dublin/Pleasanton area, I feel a lot better because there is a lot more space, flatter terrain, less claustrophobic architecture, easy access to BART trains and buses, and a much larger diversity and quantity of people such that it does not have that distinctly ingrown “small town” feel (and it felt kind of hostile to “ghetto” or not so rich people (as there is almost a curfew in the richer parts because the cops go patrolling the area asking people why they are outside at night)). Also, the economy in CV seems a bit like a closed loop; just upkeep of the locals and not much else (e.g. hospice care, dentistry, nurseries, barber shops, and lots of little fast food stores). Meanwhile, in Dublin, there seems to be a lot more large scale and global businesses, research facilities, distribution centers, and corporate centers. I feel like I am in a more normal part of the world than one that feels almost Amish. I felt unnaturally self-focused and high-strung there whereas here my attention can easily wander off my appearance and humor seems more readily available to my brain. Also, this place seems a lot less kid centric and a lot more adult centric (especially young urban professionals and not as high of a concentration of people older than 50 years) Well, I better get going. Good night!
One last thing: I decided to extend the maximum number of journal entries to include in this chapter to 55 instead of just 50.
Hopefully tomorrow (after I get some sleep in this place) I will be writing more like my real self and not so much like my Castro Valley-fied self.
02_JULY_2023: Today karbytes shared a link to this journal entry web page on its Twitter page, Minds page, Patreon page, and LinkedIn page.
This web page was last updated on 03_JULY_2023. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.
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