KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2023_ENTRY_521
08_JULY_2023: As I was walking up the hill, I noticed a big car parked on the opposite side of the road with its headlights on and seemingly idling for what looked like at least a minute. As I walked closer to where that car was parked, I noticed two or three kids between ages 5 and 12 emerge and one or two adults and they noisily ascended the staircase up to the porch where the front door was located. I noticed how loud and how many frivolous whooping and barking vocalizations those primates were making. (When I was a kid, I remember hardly making a sound and not making such caustic, loud, and frivolous vocalizations like so many kids and adults do today). I had a brief fantasy of blowing those kids’ heads off with an assault rifle and excusing it as pest control). Then I had the following sweet reverie…
Suppose I was suddenly granted the following super powers:
(a) total invincibility to injury, illness, and being physically restrained or incapacitated.
(b) the ability to extend my life for as long as I voluntarily choose to and then to quickly and painlessly die by merely deciding that I am ready to die.
(c) being issued an unconditional personal income of $10,000 per month (from the government and particularly from the federal military budget)
(d) being immune from ever being legally criminalized and from ever being punished for any of my actions.
(e) able to murder any animal I want to using my thoughts by any means I imagine and desire for any reason and without any obstruction.
I would terrorize people into conforming to my wishes and obliterate people who I think are seriously detrimental to my agenda or people I randomly decide to obliterate just to make a statement that I am godlike in my authority, brutality, and power.
I cannot help but think of humans as stinky, obnoxious, ugly, and overrated parasitic animals who I want to treat some of like literal pigs just to make my point that humans deserve to be subject to the same barbaric circumstances they have the animals they eat go through until every human stops eating non human animals entirely (but cultured meat which lacks a nervous system is okay by me for anyone to eat).
This is to counter anthropocentrism and humanity’s widespread disregard towards the state of Earth’s climate and environmental conditions and ecosystems.
* * *
Also, I would not be denied the right to use my money online nor denied the right to use the Internet as freely as any other person in good standing with the law would be able to. I would prefer to do 100% of my bill pay and purchases via the Internet instead of “in person”. I would avoid people as much as possible and avoid killing people unless they seriously get in my way. I would even refrain from going on a killing spree to mitigate overpopulation. By myself, I think I would be almost useless in weeding those I consider worthy of extermination from Earth’s human population to the extent that I could effectively eradicate all the “dead weight” I no longer wish to share my planet with. Then again, I might become a skilled user of automated microdrone weapons to kill the right people en masse without having to personally assess each target myself.
08_JULY_2023:
I’m tired of hearing other people’s chimp-like voices which are caustic, ugly, and intrusive and incessantly chattering.
I’m tired of looking at people’s ugly primate faces which demand too much of my attention and which they forcefully shove into my viewport.
I’m tired of inhaling people’s toxic air pollution and facing the prospects of a shorter and shittier life as a result.
* * *
I’m sick of putting up with the slovenly behavior of brown and black people in particular who take more than they give. Such people are immature, slovenly, unintelligent, and parasitic.
The women of such an ilk frequently come across as bloated and garish clowns which have tiny whimpering voices which seems incongruous with their massive bodies (and atop their disproportionately tiny heads are buns comprised of hair tightly pulled or otherwise curtains framing their grotesque faces).
Such people seem so contagiously downtrodden, sulky, trivial and unoriginal in their quality of thoughts, rude, small-minded, self-righteous, belligerent, animalistic, and addicted to picking fights over petty matters.
If I could get away with it, I would have many of such people sterilized if not instantaneously vaporized. People like them hog resources and impede humanity’s evolutionary progress.
* * *
Many humans I come across seem to lack spacial awareness and are pathetically oblivious to their surroundings and apathetic about anything which takes place outside of an extremely small scope of concern.
The thoughts of so many people seem to horrifically shallow, unoriginal, reflexive, flippant, and lazy.
01_JULY_2023: To finalize what I said in the previous blog post, I have come to the conclusion that conforming to the female gender roles is generally a waste of time (especially given the fact that all human sexual reproduction can be outsourced to machines) because all it really amounts to is a woman advertising its sexual allure (which is the power to captivate and monopolize the attention economy) to a man-dominant audience in exchange for provisions bestowed on women by men at a price I would not want to pay: having to spend oneself broke in terms of finite resources obsessively and constantly attempting to control how one is is perceived by other people. Such focus on other people is crippling to the extent that I consider it to be an intellectual disability which is generally condoned across human civilization. Also, I honestly think women are generally not nearly as physically attractive as men generally are (because I think women look like deformed piggish children who look like they were domesticated and brainwashed into behaving like manipulative, dumbed down, pathetically easily amused whores) and because cisgendered men have superior physical strength and superior mental prowess (but I do think it is possible for some cisgendered women to achieve the same level if not exceed the same level of physical or mental prowess as cisgendered men but doing so would take an extremely high amount of effort and, honestly, exceptionally fortunate environmental circumstances). I am sorry if I offended any people. I know what I have said in this journal entry and elsewhere could be construed as misogyny. I hope that I do not get punished for expressing my (arguably) misogynistic viewpoints. I am glad I shared them though because, if I did not, I believe I would die with regrets and a lot of pain knowing that I had so much I could shared in writing with the world which likely would have saved many others from having to say the same things in their own words. In other words, I think that my words help other people with similar thoughts and feelings as mine not have to publically humiliate themselves and risk getting punished as a consequence of sharing their (arguably) misogynistic thoughts and feelings with people other than themselves.
Anyway…onto the gist of what this note is about…
I remember making a prayer in 2016 back when I briefly suspended rational judgment while under the influence of loads of marijuana while reading the Christian Bible and spending lots of time hiding in the wilderness to contemplate ideas which felt new, fresh, and inspiring at the time which sounded like accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and going so far as to do what I thought He was compelling me to do: physically be willing to take His place and endure ostracization, torture, and violence in order to carry out His divine mission. I was very egoless and brave at that time and I intuited that, once that novelty and magical spirituality glow faded, I would return to being highly egotistical, logical, skeptical, atheistic (and now pantheistic), and daresay misanthropic and bordering on suicidally depressed. Shortly after I made that oath, I ended up in the psychiatric ward for a manic break involving me attempting to run barefoot across the Golden Gate Bridge as part of some quest I felt I was being lead to embark on which included chasing after cryptic clues which I noticed in my environment left by other humans in the form of graffiti, artifacts, and strategically placed human characters who I regarded as benevolent guardians and guides along my path.
As my optimism and sense of being on a magical quest faded into pessimism and being scammed and deluded into wasting my time and getting entrapped in a situation which left me feeling trapped, tortured, gaslit, ostracized, maligned, stolen from, set up to fail, and daresay even physically harmed, I started to feel an intense degree of horror and anger at the shocking level of cruelty and sadism I noticed in seemingly innocent people (including children) who seemed to rejoice in me being treated as their scapegoat.
I remember people treating me like I deserved to be regarded as a saint willing to make sacrifices most others would not want to make in order to benefit all of humanity. I watched people gradually treat me less and less like a deluded and idealistic child saint and more and more like some infantilized adult who needed to be treated in a harsh and unkind manner. What I never seemed to get was much in the way of honest and direct verbal communication from other people. I felt that truth was one thing that other people have generally not been very forthcoming about giving me.
Anyway, I have lamented a lot throughout my blogging career about how abused and betrayed and used and lied to and raped and ignored and damaged by other people I have felt, but in all honesty, I feel way more priviledged and held in high esteem (especially by people in high ranks of governmental institutions) than disadvantaged or demonized.
I will never forget somehow finding a clue (I think in the form of graffiti) which said that the price of freedom is constant surveillance. That might be the most important point I am trying to make: that, in order for me to have so much freedom to travel alone and to live outside and to use the Internet as liberally as I have since 2016, I have had to succumb to being intensely surveilled by the government to an extent I think is tortuous and an extent I think most people would not volunteer to submit themselves to.
Well, these are just some hastily hashed out thoughts I felt the need to publish in this website before moving onto other things. Time to go!
(I know I have complained a lot. I am afraid that, the more I complain, the more I will be punished for it (even by myself). Therefore, I hope to stop complaining publicly after this. It is hard for me to move on with my life and avoid fighting with other people because, as soon as I try not to get into fights with other people, I get the sense that other people are trying to provoke me into fighting with them and do not stop until I give in and “snap”).
In response to that last paragraph I said: I think I am being obliged to “let other people win” whatever fights they pick with me and try to prevent from getting finished. “Letting others win” is hard for my ego to willingly do. Hence, I have to con myself into thinking there is no way for me to survive unless I do (and that, if I don’t, I will suffer so much that I will not want to live anymore).
Okay. I am ready to take damage. I am ready to give my all in trying to be perpetually optimistic and resilient and as minimally violent and minimally harmful as possible.
This web page was last updated on 08_JULY_2023. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.
KARBYTES_FOR_LIFE_BLOG 