I was watching some videos from a YouTube channel which I discovered today while browsing the Actualized dot Org forums. Afterwards I thought about the related subject of non-duality and its practical implications on my life. Then I politely asked my dad to leave the house for about half an hour so I could figure some things out about the ambience of that house. After some careful listening I am convinced that the “head radio voices” which keep talking at me constantly (and always in a way which feels hostile, abusive, and deliberately intended to sabotage my personal goals), I am convinced that such voices are coming from a corrupt, abusive, and obsolete police force and/or deep state law enforcement. I see that such people have caused me orders of magnitude more suffering and damage than benefit. I do think that a more evolved society would render police obsolete because so much of crime prevention would be handled by technology in the form of surveillance equipment and tactical robots. What I am personally witnessing is the human police metaphorically kicking and screaming and trying to take me down with them in an all-ought lose-lose manner. I see how they tried to foster a lack of trust for my family and fellow community members. I see how those deep state workers also tried to terrorize me into having insufficient time to figure out what’s going on. I decided to believe that my parents are generally supportive of my goals and that, as long as I stay within my current budget, I do not have to fear losing financial support from my parents. I think that last sentence seriously triggers one of the pigs talking in the background (and I used the moniker pig_gorl to caricaturize her). I think pig_gorl wants me to think that my parents are just as abusive as pig_gorl is. I think pig_gorl is a sore looser about me getting legal financial, economic, and informational support. I bet that, if pig_gorl had her way, I would be too cynical to do anything challenging and meaningful to me and would, instead, settle for being in much shittier circumstances than I’m in now. She would have me go through many more serious hardships and forsake most if not all my aspirations in life out of a sense of helplessness, destitution, and fear of suffering worse if I don’t “choose” to do whatever I think pig_gorl is forcing me to do: self sabotage which looks to other people like me being too lazy, passive aggressive, traumatized, or irrational to take care of myself so that people think I need professional help and to be treated like a minor instead of an adult. Finally, the thought police seem to latch onto forcing one’s attention on being superficial and petty as a means to distract one from probing deeper into what’s going on. Like I said in past journals, the thought police are opposed to me practicing effective coping strategies which do not cause unwanted side effects for me. Those pigs seem to demand that I suffer needlessly and feel that literally every good thing in my life must be paid for by intense suffering.

Lastly, despite me saying in past journals that the “head radio voices” may be helping me to save time, money, and energy in terms of making progress towards my goals, I’d like to say now that the thought police are generally doing more harm than help in regard to what I just said. In other words, I would rather stop forcing a fake optimism and fake trust in the thought police that they are my allies instead of my enemies when it is more likely (according to information I have gathered from first-hand and second-hand research) that the thought police are my enemies instead of my allies. If they were ever my allies at all, they only were trying to seduce me and reinforce the thoughts and behavior they wanted from me. They used negative reinforcement to control me far more than they used positive reinforcement to encourage my thoughts or behaviors. I think such people are just unhappy about no longer being relevant to society now that those people are being replaced by machines and exposed as abusive parasites.

Take my “stories” as just more food for thought and not as infallible facts nor as advice. What I say is sometimes factually incorrect, contradictory, hyperbolic, and sensationalist. For me my writing is evidence of where my mind has been in the past.

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(Lastly, I would like to announce that I decided to stop asking people to leave the house just so I can hog it all to myself because I think that is a bit babyish of me at this stage. I called my dad on the phone to tell him I no longer need the house to myself. He and my mom were both on the other end and we got to have a nice little chat. So far, I seem to be on excellent terms with my family of origin. That does not mean that problems will never occur. I am just pretty damn convinced that I am prepared for anything now when it comes to the people I know because I know they are not as sadistic and fatalistic as some of the deep state terrorists I have dealt with. My parents would not be as happy as they are if that were the case, in my opinion, because the people who are mean to me do not seem like happy people who can just enjoy the nice things in life. Instead, such people seem to take pride in destroying what they do not have. I bet such people feel like prisoners living as slaves in some dungeon working for the state as replaceable cogs in machine that only values them as utilities).

(The last thing I said was another “word poop”. Yuck. I promise the content of this blog will be better in future posts. Stay tuned!)

This web page was last updated on 24_MAY_2023. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.