Approximately one hour after publishing my previous journal entry web page, I encountered what seemed to be a staged violent crime scene involving a squirrel and two pickup trucks (with short-haired Caucasian-looking men who appeared to be between ages 20 and 40 driving each truck; apparently one human per truck). As I was walking towards the East Dublin BART station along the road parallel to the 580 freeway, one of the trucks (which was black and had a guy holding his hand out of the window briefly a few times). I noticed some kind of radio emitter box thing with a large antenna attached to it mounted to the top of the truck. As I walked forward, the truck driver reversed the truck such that it was traveling slow enough to be within talking hearing range of me. Once I got to the end of that single-lane road at the base of the seven story parking garage, the two pickup trucks drove forward one at a time. I saw a flopping piece of meat on the road ahead of me. It was a ground squirrel who had apparently been run over by a car. It was thrashing about in agony on the ground with blood spewing out of its head.

My current assumption is that those two guys in the pickup trucks were coordinating with each other (and probably other accomplices in positions of governmental power and the legal right to use violent force however they deem fit for the situation) to get me to write about something other than my family of origin and whatever its particular cultural values and ideologies are. Well, here it is!

I would like to write my own “poetic” (i.e. not necessarily literal) interpretation of what that event was about (from the perspective of whoever I assume premeditated that act of violence towards the ground squirrel who was used as a scapegoat, metaphor, or mere cinematic fluff to titillate the banal appetites of the mentally unsophisticated target audience)…

tank_driver: “We claim that what we did was necessary to make you stop perpetuating the spread of violence (into the future but, of course, not in reverse). Do not neglect to make a big stink on the Internet about a little squirrel whose dumber and presumably less conscious than either one of us humans; the apex predators of Planet Earth.”

karbytes: “I see. Actually, I don’t quite understand why you justify ending violence with violence. In fact, I don’t even know why you keep calling me violence mongering. I was just listening to some of my favorite metal music which I enjoy for the distinct use of instrumentals and apocalyptic and daresay war-mongering lyrics. I do not think the artist literally intends to embody the caricatures it sings about. I interpreted it as bombastically over-the-top fantasy-themed entertainment which I had fun listening to while writing notes in a field.”

tank_driver: “I don’t care what music you listen to. I care about the fact that you are smearing people’s reputations and generating hate-mongering propaganda of your own. You need to hold your words back more and to keep to yourself (because you are socially naive and easy to bully). Just stay where people can’t see nor hear you. Get in a car if you have to so that you don’t look so easy to run over.”

karbytes: “That’s like saying that, in order to stop women from getting raped, all the women have to live in captivity and only go out with a male escort guarding them at all times (and perhaps even forcing those women to wear burkas such that their sexually attractive attributes are obscured under billowing black bags). I digress to say that probably won’t stop domestic violence against those women including rape and incest.”

tank_driver: “What you describe is not what we are trying to promote. Yes, it is a fucking tiring job trying to corral you motherfucker.”

karbytes: “If you are trying to corral me, you are basically doing what I describe (but perhaps on a much less severe level).”

tank_driver: “Severe for whom? No one on our team condones Islam. This is a secular nation; not a theocracy. What are you promoting other than playing Anne Frank for a living?”

karbytes: “Not much. Actually, quite a lot. I’m basically trying to hack the universe enough to understand how it works at a deep metaphysical and even physical level (which is sometimes painful) such that I can concisely (using very precise English statements similar to computer program source code) encode as much of what I consider to be the highlights of my own personal experience-based knowledge into a digital artifact which may be retrieved infinitely many times (by myself and whoever else might want to be the end user of those digital artifacts). I might not be able to remember past lives if I have ever reincarnated, but I might get opportunities within lifetimes or between lifetimes to re-discover my beloved home and memory storage device of a blog such that my awareness can span multiple lifetimes and understand evermore deeply how those lifetimes are connected within the larger context of what I presume to be the one and only multiverse.”

tank_driver: “That’s fine as long as you don’t mean to promote the ideology which says I will inevitably have to at some point in my future be conscious from the perspective of that squirrel I killed because I have heard people like you proclaim with unwavering confidence that each sufficiently intelligent information processing agent which ever exists (whether you, I, the squirrel, some alien, or some kind of artificial neural network) must inevitably experience every other of such information processing agent’s point of view while incarnating as that particular locus of subjective experience (infinitely many times each). Sooner or later I would have to be that squirrel I killed. Sooner or later I would be me again; but would I ever learn anything new?”

karbytes: “Good question! I suppose that, if you start relatively omniscient (and therefore omnipresent), you have to forget some of what you know in order to become ignorant enough to regain whatever that missing knowledge is. Perhaps that’s all we ever do; metaphorically push the same boulder up the same hill just to watch it roll back down to the bottom of that hill only to forget that we ever pushed that boulder up that hill in past lives. Perhaps all that matters is enjoying the present and not worrying about what might exist outside of it which we are not aware of.”

truck_driver: “Are you patronizing me? Are you calling me quaint and advocating that people settle for being ignorant, complacent, and blandly conformist?”

karbytes: “I am afraid that you would want to kill me, yourself, or someone else if I imparted on you what I want you to think and feel.”

truck_driver: “That’s what you did. You imparted knowledge on me by publishing your atrocious blog which made me want to kill that squirrel to get your attention that you need to stop hosting more violence-mongering content on your web platform because it helps to plant seeds of vitriol into unsuspecting minds. Those seeds will eventually blossom into physical acts of violence. Please stop dropping those nasty little seeds everywhere. Otherwise you might end up incarcerated and tortured in ways you have yet to publicly complain about (and you would have no contact with the outside world nor access to your websites inside the prison we would put you in).”

karbytes: “Got it!”

Although I do not intend to divert away from what very serious matters were being discussed in previous paragraphs, I would like to announce that something uplifting (from my perspective) happened today while I was still in the field copy-pasting the note I emailed myself into the WordPress web page editor. I decided to call my mom on the phone because it had been a while since I talked to her and because I was a bit grouchy the last time I talked to her (which made me worry for days that I hurt her feelings). She sounded glad that I called and she said she could hear the red winged black bird singing in the bush next to me. I told her that I was on my way to getting a job soon and possibly at the nearby grocery store. I asked her how much money she and my dad paid each year to keep my dad’s house (whose mortgage has already been paid off) per year and my mom said that it cost about $15,000 in annual property taxes (and more or less to account for property insurance). I said rather sheepishly that I only made about $12,000 per year at most. (I just wanted to mention this aside because I might be able to help contribute somewhat to help keep that house from getting foreclosed. I doubt I will be able to, on my own, pay for both of my parents’ houses nor to cover their elderly care expenses. Some people posit that all I do is practice to seriously run away from home in order to avoid feeling like an indentured servant and breadwinner to my parents. I do not plan to abandon my parents but, if I do get in trouble for not contributing more to my parents’ households’ upkeep and living expenses, I will likely either settle for being temporally or permanently homeless or else pay to rent my own living quarters unit somewhere other than my parents’ houses while consoling myself with the thought that tax dollar-funded elderly care will be available for my parents if they do not have any other financial safety net. Like I said, I will do my best to contribute money if needed and only as much as I can afford to not have to shut my project-oriented lifestyle down. Also, I think my parents and I generally get along quite well and that they would not evict me because I am not that difficult to live with, I am their child, and I might actually come in handy at times. If anyone wants me to feel evicted from my home, I doubt it is anyone in my family of origin. I do not know who would want me to be involuntarily homeless but I do suspect that the police used “sonic weapons” to drive me away from the property to make it look like I was voluntarily leaving when, in fact, I was being chased out of my house my invisible bullies who only seemed to audible to me and no one else seemingly in order to prevent further domestic disputes from breaking out which involve physical violence, property damage, and other serious losses and damages which might occur as a result of me being at home while I was in a mentally volatile state (either because I am insane or because I consumed more psychoactive drugs than I could properly handle)).

One last thing: I am all in favor of legalizing every kind of drug whether it be cocaine, LSD, psilocybin, heroine, DMT, or ayahuasca. Some drugs are considered to be very dangerous to consume while others are considered to be healing medicines (if used in a skillful manner). Each drug has its own particular molecular structure and effects on the human body. Every drug user has its own goals for what it uses the drugs for. Some drug users simply want pain relief. Some drug users want to enhance their creativity or to have mystical experiences. I would be among the latter category.

(*) Clearly I was insane according to my own recollections because, by definition, being insane implies that some kind of cognitive short-circuiting is happening such that the thinker “jumps to conclusions” prematurely and hence acts in accordance to its own propaganda. I also claim that, no matter what, I am always conscious (and that has something to do with the fact that I hold a panpsychic worldview) and, because I am always conscious (with varying scope apertures of awareness), I always know what I am doing (which means I consented to whatever experiences I have undergone simply by choosing them at a conscious or subconscious level). Hence, I never use the “insanity clause” to justify what I do as being out of my control. Quite the contrary: I am to blame entirely for what I construct as my reality.

This journal entry web page has been shared as a social media post on karbytes’ Twitter, Minds, Patreon, and LinkedIn pages. Not every journal entry web page which karbytes publishes on this website is posted to karbytes’ social media by karbytes because karbytes wants to restrict its social media accounts to subject matter which karbytes thinks is “sufficiently relevant” to the general public (i.e. the whole of human civilization and other “sufficiently intelligent” entities wherever they might exist).

This web page was last updated on 20_APRIL_2023. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.