KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2023_ENTRY_194
There has been a persistently intrusive and very annoying caricature in my life who I started imagining in some detail based on voices which I am forced to hear which the thought police somehow beam into my skull which I felt the need to make a verbal sketch of (in the hopes that I will not feel compelled to pause what I am doing to make a shrine of “her” again).
The “little girl” appears to be a young woman (in her twenties) with very neonatal features and infantile behavior who seems to be coddled and cherished by heterosexual uneducated men mostly because she provides them child pornography without actually being a child because she is so convincingly and grotesquely childlike in her behavior and appearance. Her voice is soft, high-pitched, and plaintive as a newborn infant’s. Her face looks a bloated six year old girl’s face with big doey eyes, a tiny underdeveloped nose, and a tiny toddler-like mouth which is always open and deliberately breathing noisily or whimpering and mewling like she is in heat. Her vocalizations are soft, slow, monotonous, mournful, whiny, and weak. Her attention-seeking mouth breathing is even more annoying than her voice. I can hear her child-sized throat and mouth cloying for my attention as it softly exhales like a balloon filled to capacity on the verge of exploding yet only seeping a tiny amount of air in a slow, tepid fashion (like she has all the time in the world to play “cutesy” annoying little attention whore baby who is shameless about taking up her caregiver’s attention as much as possible). Her body is cylindrical in shape; thick with no hourglass inflection with a pink tutu and what looks like a diaper underneath it. She sort of looks like a male-to-female transsexual who is not quite able to pull of a womanly appearance, and instead, looks like a moderately overweight midget with Down Syndrome.
She is so annoying and demanding of my attention (to the extent that it is seriously interfering with my job, safety, and career) that I would not hesitate to have her violently assaulted and then murdered if I was confident that I would not be seriously punished for that. She is an example of a human being I have no shame about wanting to exterminate because people like her are what I think are very parasitic and diminishing of my quality of life and, also, I am disgusted that so many (chauvinist) people seem to adore her and support her at my expense merely because she serves those people as a pathetic fetishistic escape those people do not have to lower themselves to embody.
This reminds me of why I have almost always masturbated to the mental imagery of women getting humiliated and violated. I did not masturbate to those images because I thought the women were beautiful nor in any way worthy of my admiration. Instead, I extracted some kind of reliably consistent erotic pleasure (however meager) from reveling in how much DISGUST I feel towards female humans who seem to be too illiterate, unathletic, and hyper-sexualized (and lacking in originality, wit, charm, maturity, and other traits which I think are necessary to make a person likable to me). Such women act like they have nothing but wounded, pathetic, needy, lazy, dumb, cowardly, deformed corpses to splay before me as a convulsing heap; cooing and twerking while looking up at me expectantly. She expects me to smile at her and act mesmerized at what an evolutionary dead-end she is. (I am all for sterilizing humans and only allowing new humans to be born from stem cells grown in artificial wombs or else in willing and qualified adult female human birth mothers because I do not want more neglected and deformed infants spawning from subhuman quivering blobs of wasted dough).
“But she’s a girl,” some people might exclaim when I talk about her in such a denigrating and violent manner. I do not care. All she seems to have of value to offer human civilization is her capacity to make babies. Take that away from her and she is nothing but a public burden no one seriously wants to be in the presence of for more than a few minutes. She is more demanding, difficult, narcissistic, tyrannical, and learning disabled than most children who appear to be her age are. She might as well be permanently relegated to kindergarten and keep repeating that grade for the rest of her life while playing teacher’s pet since she is bound to sooner or later memorize the trite rituals of her class. I think it is disgusting that because she looks like a kid and is good at acting like one, she gets treated like one. She might seem like a chubby, sheltered, slow-witted, and sexually abused six year old girl but I think she is also a very conniving, manipulative, materialistic, chauvinistic, predatory adult clown who is treated as innocent merely because she looks more like a baby than an adult (and she certainly sounds like one). Oh, and she is not just baby-like. She is especially good at making people interested in her because she appears to be a sexed up baby; a baby in heat; a baby wailing to have a baby and to be touched like a sexually mature woman. I know that many people would get hard reading this because they are inevitably turned on by fake or real child porn. (For the record, I am generally not attracted to most women (nor men) because I am not attracted to kids (and most adults seem to be less mature than high school graduates as far as I can tell (and I am only attracted to people who have college-level in-depth knowledge and expertise in technical and applicable subject matter because only those people seem to be utilizing their human potential to do something other than fuck, nest, forage, and fight like sub-human slovenly animals in squalor)).
In case people are wondering if I have sexual attractions to anything, I am effectively asexual and just as likely to be turned on by some kinds of non-human animals as I am by humans (if not more so). I think humans look and act like brash, self-centered, impatient, shallow, attention-whorish pig-apes. I am not as attracted to them as they are. I am not as impressed with their desperate attempts to get laid as they and their target audience are. I think I am less intellectually and less deprived of access to natural (and not man-made or anthropocentric) beauty than they are (which is why they are easily impressed with human antics and the human body). I have had time in the past to have sexual relations with myself and other humans to my satisfaction. I think human sexuality is at least 90% hype yet it is pushed so hard down people’s throats by culture and society seems to practically corner people into having nothing but half-hearted, rushed, and unplanned mating in captivity to look forward to. I am hoping that more and more humans “wake up” and realize that sex is grossly overvalued by human society because it keeps people in a trance of mediocrity instead of immersed in activities which truly exercise their intellects. Without a sufficiently educated and creative mind, I cannot be attracted to a human. I am not attracted to corpses being used as puppets by the military-industrial complex or as pets of third-world country patriarchs.
By the way, that “little girl” caricature I have attempted to draw with words has black (or very dark brown) hair which is straight and which extends to her mid back. She seems to be wearing some kind of white hairband which keeps the hair out of face and which makes her look like a little Catholic school girl. Her eyes are poop brown and her skin is also a poop-like shade. She has tiny hands with stubby, grubby fingers enveloped in a squishy layer of fat. She has no visible muscle definition and looks like she might have overdosed on sugary drinks like Coca-Cola. I bet her bones are soft from too much toxins in her food and environment. Her teeth are small and worn down-looking; almost gummy like a baby’s mouth before the first layer of teeth emerge. Her voice and mannerisms resemble that of a dumbed down children’s cartoon character. Her behavior is cringe-worthy especially because it looks like she was locked in a room with nothing but low-quality television and trailer trash as her influences.
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