KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2023_ENTRY_129
Update: A few days ago and a few hours after I consumed approximately 60% of a half-ounce packet of psilomethoxin in a motel room, I hastily wrote a journal entry web page in which I said that I derived pleasure from the idea of other people cathartically expressing emotions on my behalf. I would like to say that a lot of what I wrote in that journal entry seemed contrived and forced because I was surrounded the entire time by other people who would not stop making distracting noises and verbal suggestions during and after my trip. In truth I do not seek to make other people express emotions on my behalf. In fact, if it were up to me, I would prefer that every human being devote themselves to becoming as stoic as possible. My ideal society would be comprised entirely of self-motivated lifelong students who are very good at self control and who are only voluntarily theatrical. I seem to be living in a society where other people demand that other people react in overt and what I think are infantile and unnecessarily dramatic ways for their sadistic amusement (because many humans seem to be “codependent” on other people rather than self-contained and complete unto themselves). That is part of why I want to promote being single for the rest of my life. I intend to remain single for the rest of my existence rather than in some kind of committed relationship with a person who I regard as “my other half” because I want to maximize how much control I have over how I spend my time, energy, money, and cognitive resources. I think it is actually quite gross that it is still considered to be normal for adult humans to throw tantrums like miseducated, neglected little children. I do not think that adults acting like retarded, weak, wasteful of finite resources, and inconsiderate of other beings’ welfare (whether or not those other beings are “philosophical zombies” or else fully conscious agents with their own individual notions of self coupled with self-awareness) is cute, cool, or worthy of my approval. That is part of the reason why I am more hermetic than most other humans seem to be. There just do not seem to be very many humans who are as introverted, intellectual, logical (rather than emotional) yet sensitive (rather than emotionally callous, dismissive, and depressingly cavalier (i.e. devoid of a sense of seriousness rather than apathy)) as I prefer to be. Oh well. I do not mind being my one and only friend for most (if not all) of the remainder of my singular self’s existence (and I intend to live for as long as possible (if not forever (and I think I may be able to achieve that feat as a result of reincarnation and finding ways to “hack the matrix” of whatever universe simulation I happen to be living inside of))).
Finally, I would like to mention something I thought about earlier today which I think is possible and interesting: the notion that an entire physical universe (such as the one in which this blog post is being read RIGHT NOW) exists because it is a computer-generated simulation (and that computer simulation is fundamentally reducible to sequences of binary signals). Given that any and all universes are assumed by me to be fundamentally composed of binary machine code, I think it is possible to create a computer program on a physical computer (inside of the physical universe in which this blog post is being read RIGHT NOW) which is an exact copy of that computer’s encompassing physical universe. If I were to write such a program, that program would necessarily have to include details about every atom which comprises the computer which runs that program.
(Okay, one last thing before I close up this journal entry web page: I did not mean to imply in that trip report journal (which I linked in the first paragraph of this update) that I condone exploiting other “sufficiently sentient” information processing agents (especially humans) so that I can “get ahead” at their expense. I am afraid that, if I ended up being trapped on a planet which is overpopulated with too many humans and not enough resources for each of them to live well that I would selfishly try to preserve myself and to attain comfort at every other human’s expense with only a few exceptions at most. I think that “the right” thing do in such a situation is to commit suicide or to go without the things I want so that other people (especially children) can survive and enjoy a minimally decent life at my expense (but perhaps “the right” thing to do is really a violation of my personal sense of ethics which I recently attempted to succinctly define in IDEOLOGY). The reason why I say that sacrificing myself so that other people can be spared having to suffer more than I want them to is possibly what I think is the most ethical thing I could do is that I think that I am more likeable to other people that way than otherwise. What I mean to say is that, if some random stranger decided to jump in front of a bullet to save me from getting shot even if that person is seriously injured or dies as a result, I would say that such a person is an exceptionally good person and someone who I would probably regard as a role model for other human beings to emulate. If most people were that willing and ready to sacrifice their survival, comfort, and success so that other people could have those things instead, I think that people would be more likeable (but, then again, maybe not. What good is a person who has nothing better to do than to wait to be used as a mere stepping stone for other humans to traverse while that stepping stone person is destroyed in the process of being a bridge for others? I like it when people derive enough intrinsic value from their own personal experience as self-sovereign and autonomous agents to justify practicing self defense and engaging in Darwinian competition over scarce resources so that they can claim those assets before their competition does because that is what I think is necessary to make life fun rather than a boring demonstration of nihilist apathy). This is a stream of consciousness writing. As a result of writing it, I have come to terms that I am happy to assume that I am the only sentient frame of reference in what appears to be the encompassing physical universe in which I live and that all other persons are just figments of that simulation as “non playable characters” which exist so that I appear to not be the only point of sentience within that simulation. I am okay with being fundamentally alone. I think loneliness is only possible if I believe that I am not ultimately God undergoing amnesia in order to inhabit one of many reality simulations which I could dream up and, instead, that I am a small and mortal part of some physical universe in which there are other mortal parts which are just as sentient as I am inside the same simulated reality bubble. Thinking that there are others like me is supposed to be a game which preoccupies me so that I do not investigate the fundamental nature of reality too deeply to wake myself up out of that amnesia because that would take the fun out of playing the game. The game is supposed to be about looking for my long-lost friends (who are supposedly either people I have never met or else people I met in previous lifetimes or in previous times within one lifetime) and loneliness is supposed to help motivate me to invest “too many resources” in that search for communion with other people. As a hardcore solipsist, I do not feel the need to search for other people to complete me and to be indebted to as though they are not “philosophical zombies” because all people who I notice in my reality bubble are already a part of me (i.e. figments of my imagination). Of course I intend to keep treating other people as though they are self-aware and have minds of their own (to avoid the negative consequences of myself for doing otherwise (which may include a hoard of armed “non playable characters” detaining me and putting me in a jail or torture chamber or forcing me to exit the simulation sooner than I would like to via murdering the “playable character” I happen to be assuming the role of RIGHT NOW as I write this note or else read this note)). I also look forward to learning from other humans as a student who is curious about what these “non playable characters” have to teach me as part of my larger mission to explore and to understand as deeply as possible the nature of existence. I want to learn from experts on quantum mechanics, neuroscience, philosophy, mathematics, technology, biology, astronomy, and other academic fields (especially NATURAL SCIENCE) which pique my interest).
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{A0 : "https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20221102-how-a-sand-battery-could-transform-clean-energy"},
{A1 : "https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20221215-the-batteries-made-from-wood"}
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