Some interesting things happened to me while I was at the Warm Springs BART station tonight. I discovered at least one functional wall outlet on the west side of the station on the staircase (but that outlet is not under any kind of roof which means that this is not the most ideal place to charge electronics in the midst of rainfall). Some random guy on the platform asked me whether I was a girl or a guy. Lately I have been feeling androgynous rather than favoring towards one side (yet I still intend to keep taking the testosterone shots because I like the way testosterone makes me feel and I like how it boosted my muscle definition and strength. I hope I get some decent facial hair eventually. For now, I just have a little bit of a mustache and some random chin hairs which resemble pubic hair). I shrugged and said I do not know. I’ll just keep going about my business and try to have fun while I do. It is more fun for me to not be so attached to particular labels and identities.

One identity I have been just now starting to let go of making a big deal out of while at the same time continuing to embody it is being a tech geek. It seems redundant in the time and place I am in to keep referring to myself as a tech enthusiast because I think many people are. Just because I code regularly as a hobby does not mean that I am rich nor that I make money from coding; at least not yet. I am living well below the poverty line in America yet still doing my best to afford luxuries. I expect to be able to eventually save up for am $800 bicycle from a specialty bicycle store but, probably tomorrow, I will go to the nearby Walmart and buy myself a cheap bicycle so that I can get errands done (order of magnitude) faster. (One embarrassing and painful ailment which I have been dealing with recently is a painful butt crack due to the fact that I have been going for at least one week without showering (and sponge baths and intensive wiping is no substitute for a cleansing hot shower to rid my ass crack of residual fecal matter). Hopefully the bike will cut down my commute time significantly enough to make going back and forth between where I prefer to hang out (and work, et cetera) and where I live temporally short enough to not feel to me like a rip off).

I got a little bit more coding done today. I expect to have that probability web app done by the end of the weekend. I am hoping that I can get back into a programming language I have not studied in a while: Java. The first coding assignment I intend to do with Java is attempt to re-create that randomized starry night, mountains, hut with glowing windows, and pumpkin patch image which a Java program generates which I made more than half a decade ago while taking a class at California State University East Bay (Hayward campus). Java seems like a more object-oriented programming language than C++ (but C++ is exceptionally useful for understanding what happens at a hardware level (which makes C++ a good “comment” to translate into Assembly Language instructions)).

By the way, if I get a cheapo bike tomorrow from Walmart, that will hopefully last me until I get the more expensive bike I want. Then, if I am lucky, I will have two bicycles (which is a convenience in the case of me losing one of those bikes).

One more thing: there are several water fountains on the west side exit of Warm Springs BART station (and one of those water fountains is designed for filling water bottles (and those water fountains are located outside of the station instead of inside (which means that those water fountains are accessible 24 hours per day and not just during BART service hours))).

The Thought Police are at least as annoying as usual. In a nutshell, I would describe them as sore losers who throw tantrums and try to impede my progress because such people are not part of the tech culture. Instead, they are tyrannical brats unwilling to (or perhaps unable to (due to being physically coerced to have artificially limited thoughts)) modernize. Instead, they seem to want to perpetuate endless warfare, violence, ad hominem shit slinging, and rampant anti-intellectualism. In my opinion, the Thought Police are more harmful than helpful to me. I am convinced that I would suffer significantly less and get at least much done as I currently do without their meddling. They seem more robot-like than human (or like reptilian-brained subhuman animals). Rather than attempt to humanize them as I have been trying to do (unsuccessfully), I will try to dismiss them as beings which I would gladly exterminate (with or without giving them painkillers) if I could without adverse consequences to myself. In other words, if it were up to me, I would have them murdered (and I do not mind if they are murdered in a violent, painful manner because such beings seem to lack empathy, a sense of purpose, seem to be opposed to my goals and values, and because I doubt such beings are very sentient (which means they might as well have as complex of subjective experiences as do individual ants: simple binary signals which amount to “GO” and “STOP” in terms of maintaining some kind of homeostasis in an automated, formulaic, and purely reflexive manner)).

I feel literal hatred for humans who seem to exude the qualities I described above. The Earth is already so overpopulated with humans who seem to do little more than generate more messes to clean up than they get around to cleaning up that I would not mind (quickly and painlessly and without what I deem to be negative consequences to me) having such humans exterminated. I think that plenty of humans will keep breeding such that underpopulation will never be a serious problem (especially when humans start to prioritize extending individual lifespans at least as much as they prioritize making more humans).

What seems to be happening which humans generally avoid talking about (and letting anyone talk about or even think about) is the idea that, in order to sustain the current rate of human births (and consumer habits), many humans are implicitly required to die (or at least significantly downsize their lifestyles) in order to make way for the baby-making and environment-destroying enterprise. It almost seems like those with the biggest carbon footprints are considered to be the most important people in the world. Their unsustainably gluttonous demand for more material resources and conveniences which come at the expense of ecological sustainability and global human welfare seems to be condoned as mandatory (and being the legal guardian of minor kids are the most socially acceptable excuse to be such voracious and socially and ecologically negligent consumers because such people are valorized for having too little money and too little free time to make more ethical lifestyle decisions).

Do not take what I say too seriously (unless you want to). This journal entry (like many others I have written) exists mostly to “clear the cache” of my nervous system so that I can more easily focus my attention on what matters to me (instead of just what is most difficult to ignore because it threatens my sense of security and justice). Alarmist and conflict-mongering bullies seem to follow me everywhere I go and corrode my quality of life to a severely intrusive and disturbing extent. What makes such a predicament especially excruciating for me is seeming to be within hearing proximity of mere civilians who seem to side with the Thought Police against me. I do not know what such people want, but based on how they have been behaving, they seem to want me to shut up, stop thinking thoughts which they think are upsetting, and be just another nonchalant, easy-going bum (and their captive audience and servant).

This web page was last updated on 02_FEBRUARY_2023. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.