05_SEPTEMBER_2022: In early 2016, I called 911 on AJP after we got in a fight via phone and text messaging and he said that he would jump in front of a train to kill himself. I thought “the right thing to do” was to call 911 so that people would be able to prevent AJP from killing himself or else getting seriously injured (et cetera). Long story short, I feel that my motives were nefarious rather than wholesome. I wonder if I called in order to spite AJP or else to control him (and maybe keep him from ending our relationship). In hindsight, I do not take most suicide threats seriously. I think most suicide threats are retaliatory and impulsive. I think that, if a person seriously wants to end its life, it will almost always do so stealthily in order to avoid getting caught and hence prevented from committing the premeditated suicide act.
As I write these words, I imagine that I am “secretly” trying to prevent people from putting me in a cage as a result of them thinking that I am suicidal. Perhaps I feel coerced to speak, act, and even think as if I am not suicidal so as to protect my ego (which craves control) from feeling out of control because thought police monitor my thoughts and biological activity closely and constantly implant sounds, images, and other stimuli into my attention span by bombarding my brain with intrusive and controlling electromagnetic signals. (Perhaps some device akin to the Neuralink was implanted in my head so that the state would be able to use me for research and development purposes).
Anyway, for more information about what I think of suicide, medical care, criminal justice, disaster prevention, and other aspects of government, please see TECHNOCRATIC_UTOPIA.
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