The following monologue by the fictional character named P is, more or less, a continuation of the previous journal entry. I conceived it and wrote it near and inside of Don Biddle park (which looks like a dystopian community park which I imagine someone doing shrooms in for the first time, running out of their house to see the large sky above the vast sprawling lawn, and feel trapped on an overcrowded planet full of little people watching to ensure that all people stay in lockstep with the system and do not deviate for millisecond. I would advise that person having a panic attack and existential despair to go back into their house into their safe space and plug back into the matrix by putting on a light-hearted, family friendly television show or movie. (Just kidding. I would say nothing and just try to give that person space to figure out their own way through their mess…or not. Whether they make it out of their personal hell or not is not something I am willing to claim responsibility for). Anyway, perhaps more important than that dystopian scenario is the Twitter screenshot below it which is anecdotal evidence for widespread pessimism and apathy humans seem to have towards saving the environment before the human-caused damage to the environment is too pervasive to reverse).
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P: “It is important that girls are pressured into having sex without contraception and without access to abortions at as young of an age as possible so that they are forced to have a baby which will prevent them from traveling, pursuing an expensive and time consuming education, and forced to take ‘dead end’ jobs working in fast food so that those girls can devote their lives to raising their replacements (who are expected to either carry on the tradition of their mothers by having children as young as possible and staying economically, educationally, vocationally, and culturally stagnant because that keeps the people quarantined to their families and neighborhoods of origin where they are easier to micromanage and prevent from having expectations of something different).”
P: “According to some surveys from the Internet, most people seem to think that humans are too complacent, too egotistical, and too stupid to save the environment before it becomes too inhospitable for humans to inhabit (and most of those people do not think more than a very small number of wealthy and professionally trained astronauts are going to live on Mars while everyone else dies on Planet Earth from suffocation, starvation, storms from extreme weather as a result of climate disruption, and humans violently murdering each other (and the root cause would be people having more babies than the planet can comfortably sustain because people are addicted to that kind of drama)).”
P: “It is cheating to not get married and to not have kids because marriage and kids ensures that a person has almost no bodily autonomy now that they have live-in cops in the form of small children which are used like puppets by the government to spy on parents and to parrot what law enforcement conditions them to say via propagandic subliminal messages and other brainwashing modalities. A mother cannot get up before her husband and kids want her to. So, rather than go outside on an early morning walk to look at the stars or to see the sunrise, she is lying awake in bed ‘on call’ for her babies and husband (and she is told that it is not safe for a woman to go outside alone; especially at night). A woman can hardly breathe on her own because she is forced to calibrate her metabolism, range of motion, style, and media consumption to what the people in her environment prefer her to. Even though it can be argued that she has the freedom to leave her situation or to change it to make it more to her liking, it is best to treat her like she literally has no free will and is forever trapped in her circumstances and inside of a body whose movements she cannot control. It is best to treat her like she is a quadriplegic who has no control over her muscles nor speech nor choice of where she directs her attention because, at all times, she is being steered by external influences and by a domineering military industrial complex which polices her into literally having no free will, no room for original thoughts, and a sense that she is so uptight and ready to go insane that she dare not take on more than the bare minimum required to avoid being in excruciating agony while she aspires to do literally nothing more than wait to die as painlessly as possible. She knows that humanity has no future and that life on Planet Earth will become increasingly intolerable and difficult to sustain. Hence, no one talks about environmental sustainability because not enough people believe that it is possible at this point in human history to prevent ecological collapse. Also, the woman does not want to get locked up in a mental hospital for showing any more anxiety and range of thoughts than absolutely necessary and what her encompassing, engulfing society thinks is appropriate. Of course she is not happy. She is not supposed to be happy. She is a prisoner in her own body and, as time goes on, she is required to put on fat and to lose muscle and bone density and brain matter to prove that she is dutifully allowing her vitality and autonomy to fade away and not attempting to prolong her longevity nor fitness nor intellect because she is not supposed to leave her family behind nor to have fun (whether with them or without them (but she is sure required to pretend she is having tepid fun for their sake)). She is supposed to die slowly in front of them and to always be right where they expect her to be at all times. If she shows too much dissent, she will be tortured in a mental hospital and not be allowed to leave without her husband’s approval and he will have to be her chaperone when he comes to pick her up and put her in his car which only he drives and she will be under stricter supervision than ever as a consequence of being incarcerated at a mental hospital for moral weakness and failure to comply with the patriarchy.”
P: “She is not supposed to look too poised. She is supposed to look like she is silently screaming at all times while pretending to be sentimental and single-mindedly centered on the needs of her family. She is supposed to look and sound like she is laughing and crying hysterically (or at least whimpering and mumbling in a manner which sounds tense, unsettled, and filled with subtle dread with a chirpy voice ringing hollow with fake forced cheer) when she talks and to seem too mentally unstable to function on her own. She is not supposed to be able to spend more than a few hours alone without falling apart and needing to be physically restrained and sedated as she is carted off to the correctional facility to treat her hysteria. Otherwise, she is being a smug, defiant, cold-hearted bitch who acts like she is too good for her family and community.”
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