“…How will we deal with the fact that our universe is a (very slowly) ticking time bomb of despair? Probably by doing nothing since we won’t be around for the end: In about 5 billion years the sun will become a red giant star, likely swallowing up the Earth. Even if it doesn’t, it’ll boil away the oceans and strip out the atmosphere. Most life on Earth will probably be dead in 2.8 billion years. Maybe, just maybe, some extremely hardy bacteria will miraculously survive, but it’s doubtful…” (from “The Universe is Dying, Slowly But Surely” by John Wenz on 11_AUGUST_2015, Popular Mechanics)

Earlier today I saw an article in Popular Mechanics which, rather cavalierly, suggested that the human species will almost certainly (if not certainly) go extinct long before the universe in which humans live is expected by some physicists to disintegrate in a “heat death”. (What the author of that article said irked me because the author was implicitly suggesting that humanity will not be able to find some unexpected workarounds which enable them to overcome whatever obstacles to indefinite longevity they may happen upon (and transcendence and control of physical laws which could give humans literal “godlike” powers)).

If what the author of that article said is true and/or most humans agree with what that author said, then most humans seem to be doing little other than pursuing comfort for themselves (and having children is an extension of such self interest). A parent would be invested in the survival of its offspring but not care about the welfare of humans living 300 years from now because most humans only care about themselves and, after that, only humans who are alive while that human is alive (and not a very large subset of whatever that set is).

(Also, most parents seem to think that their own children deserve to have a better quality of life and a better chance of survival than all other children which currently exist and which have the potential to exist (unless those unborn children are from those parents themselves). I have been told many times that there is no “higher” love than a human parent’s love for its own biological offspring. I think that such a love is even more selfish than a voluntarily childless human loving itself because that voluntarily childless human is not demanding that the world make way for a new helpless, needy human capable of suffering who is forced to live so that the parent has “something to do” because apparently there is not enough humans for that parent to feel that its life is worth living without having to birth a slave; a means to get special treatment by society; an (almost) guaranteed source of economic, social, and emotional security especially as that parent reaches old age or needs assistance from its indebted adult children).

I think I am at least as altruistic as parents are for the reason I said because at least I am not pushing human beings out into this world only to leave them there to constantly fight for their opportunity to live to not get stolen from them by human competitors and other factors which contribute to those humans having less of a chance of surviving than if those factors were not present in those humans’ lives. In other words, I am only really living to please myself while doing my best to displease other people as little as possible.

If I had one job, it would be to have the authority to decide which humans get to live and die. I think I would be a very good judge (better than the average human) to decide just by looking at someone briefly for a few moments to decide whether or not that human (no matter how old it is) deserves to be left to continue living or whether I should instantly summon drones to swiftly annihilate that human I deem to be too much of a burden and not enough of an asset in terms of creating the kind of society I would want to inhabit and allow other humans to inhabit. Those who do not get sorted out of existence by me will likely be people who are not bullies and who do not enjoy wasting anyone’s time and are smart enough to not be a burden to society. I have no special regard for parents nor pregnant people nor children. I am biased towards saving those who are exceptionally intelligent, witty, and what I deem to be likeable personalities.

For saying what I said in the previous paragraph, I may have implicitly invited people to come murder me in my sleep (and/or kidnap me and take me to an underground location to torture me). I do feel like an army of one fighting tooth and nail to prevent what little I have from getting destroyed. I do beleive that if I did not go to “the extremes” I do to live as well as I do, I would end up being worn down and traumatized to the point that I physically harm myself and others. I would rather not commit homicide nor suicide and I would rather not seriously physically harm any person. Hence, I camp in a tent instead of live indoors like most people do. I do my best to stay away from people as much as possible. Perhaps it would be in the public’s best interest if I not work in a job where I interface with the general public. Perhaps I should just file for disability because I see that I am already treated like too much of a burden by many people to even be allowed to work to earn my keep. I do not mind being ridiculed as a free-loading leech, liar, and narcissist. What I do mind is being punished for my honoring my preferences instead of giving into other people’s implicit demands to be “on call” to be tortured, held hostage, and forced to “play chicken” with my mental health for their convenience and sadistic amusement.

In case this is my last note over before I vanish because I get murdered, maimed, or imprisoned, I am glad you found this note and I hope you can access the entirety of Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com and the entirety of Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com. Those two websites are what I consider to be my most important legacies which I have to show for my human life. My dying wish is that those websites remain accessible to the public (especially as saved websites on the WayBack Machine at Archive dot Org). Thank you for your understanding and fulfillment of my request.

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07_DECEMBER_2022: When I said yesterday in this journal “playing chicken” with my mental health, I really should have gone with my original decision to include physical health as well (and even more so) because, according to my firsthand experience and what I have researched about other people’s experience of working, sleep, exercise, and studying are treated as luxuries and all that society seems to really promote is people being barely healthy enough to do the bare minimum necessary to function at their jobs (because having more health than that is seen as being spoiled and having too nice of things and having too much energy, vigor, and pleasure to require pharmaceutical pain medication (which is usually grossly over priced, addictive, and is more corrosive to one’s health than restorative) and other capitalist provided commodities which are designed to ruin people’s health so that being reckless with one’s health is normalized and even valorized while the opposite is demonized and grounds for being shunned and tortured). (If a person has what I think is a good job doing work which that person finds to be personally meaningful and not a waste of that person’s time and which pays that person enough money to live comfortably and which does not subject that person to degrading and health destroying practices, then that job is not what I would consider to be a detriment to that person’s physical and mental well being the way many “manual labor” and “customer service” jobs seem to be. In my opinion, I am not happy with doing a job which is not in the information technology field or in natural science. I do not like being forced to smile and make small talk with small minded people as a staple in how I earn my keep. Instead, I would rather lose myself in intellectual work rather than what I consider to be prostitution, “show biz”, and “babysitting” kids or adults).

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07_DECEMBER_2022: Note that I no longer wish to assert that either one of my parents have ever deliberately tried to cause me to suffer. The paragraph in below is therefore out of date. My dad has been smoking in that house since his mother (also a smoker) was alive. Hence, it was normal and habitual for people to smoke in that house. I understand that “old people” may be “set in their ways” because changing their habits is harder for them and they just might not be aware of the things I am aware of (and that’s okay, especially since I basically live outside in a tent and usually do not spend more than 3 hours per week in my dad’s house which means my exposure to secondhand smoke in that house is negligible).

07_DECEMBER_2022: After spending a few hours contemplating, I decided that I would rather get a job doing manual labor in a warehouse setting than a customer service or kitchen job because working in a setting where I do not have to interact with non-coworkers or children (and their fussy mothers) is more dignified for me than having to act like a wet-nosed dog to earn my keep while being chained to a counter like a caged animal in a zoo for the children and asshole members of the public to tease. It may be several years if ever before I have the qualifications to be offered a job as a coder, programmer, or laboratory technician. (The Wi-Fi and my AT&T connection at my dad’s house makes working remotely impossible and I think my dad deliberately rigged the Internet in that house to prevent me from having too good of a life while he spends all his time making sure I feel suffocated by his cigarette smoke and intrusive loitering out of jealousy and a need to be center of attention in his house (and I think my mom condones this and wants me to feel abused, isolated, and prevented from having a life outside “her” households)). After this final appended note, I do not wish to complain about my parents ever again and I may even go so far as to stop complaining on my behalf (or anyone’s behalf) at all. Perhaps, for now on, I will only write about facts and hardly share my opinions and feelings so that I can be as stoic and impersonal as possible.

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