KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_418
The main point of this brief journal entry is to clarify what I said in a journal entry which I wrote yesterday about how I wanted friends if and only if those friends met my standards. I think a more honest interpretation of what I was trying to communicate is that I am really happiest being alone and do not really want friends. Instead, I just want to be able to live without other people controlling my life to the extent that I feel seriously stifled and indebted to other humans instead of free to do thing my own thing with minimal impedance (*). That’s why I have been voluntarily living outdoors in a tent instead of in my parents’ houses. Living outdoors on my own gives is the closest I have ever been to living in my own apartment for one person.
Last night, some random guy tapped on my tent asking if anyone was in it. I was afraid it was the police telling me I was illegally camping (which I sort of am (because a police officer has told me this area is not public lands and while I did not have the tent set up and was, instead, just sitting on a picnic blanket and that I had to leave)). Many times I have been told to leave an area by police and security guards and, if I think I can get away with it, I “sneak” back onto the premises so that I do not have to go back to the “overpopulated” regions where I feel deprived of privacy and sometimes ganged up on, teased, and treated as an unwelcome threat to the “family first” gated community vibe like I am some kind of dangerous wild animal to be subdued, detained, and deprived of bodily autonomy (and people get very threatened whenever I sit down in a nice location outdoors which they think should only be used by members of their community and not strangers (*)). Anyway, someone left a half drank bottle of yellow Gatorade, an unopened cereal bar, a garbage bag, used napkins, and a black metal fold up chair immediately outside my tent last night. I’m going to clean up that garbage and move the chair somewhere else because it looks ominous to me; like it is meant to say that someone wants to sit there and watch over me (which is stifling). It could be that I set up camp in some prime real estate and other people want to compete with me for this space. If the competition gets to intense, I will just have to relocate to some other location not to far from here (though the other locations I know about are not as ideal for me as this one is).
Meanwhile, as always, condescending, myopia-inducing, and anxiety mongering taunting messages are being forcibly beamed into my skull from what I think is microwave auditory effect deployed by law enforcement (which means that I think the police know where I am located at all times and, based on the kinds of noises I hear, I think the police are able to decode at least some of my thoughts using some kind of brain-to-computer interface which is implanted in my body and/or using sensors to decode my physiological activity which are located outside my body). For more information on some of the technologies I think may be used to “wire tap” my brain, see journal entry # 138 of the Karbytes Journal 2022 section of this website.
(*) I condone a person being able to say whatever it wants to even if what that person says is factually inaccurate or offensive to some persons. If I tried harder to curate my “free speech” so that it is as factually accurate and unoffensive to all persons as possible, I would hardly say much and I would only really write about politically neutral topics which I feel that I have some expertise in such as computer science, epistemology, and other topics which pertain almost exclusively to measurable physical phenomena and not to “fuzzier” things like social justice issues, socializing, and opinions about how people ought to behave and think. Honestly, back in 2015 and earlier when I was still enrolled in university and not expecting to drop out of college nor end up working in a job outside the field of information technology, I was much more willing than I have been in this website to restrict my public blog post content to relatively impersonal and politically neutral subject matter. My hope is that my 2023 journal entries will be a “return to my roots” and a departure from winging about politics and interpersonal matters. I hope that my 2023 journal entries will be a lot more peaceful, academic, emotionally neutral, and personally inspiring and intriguing. I love science, mathematics, engineering, technology, and science-based philosophy more than anything. I also hope to go on deeper psychedelic trips using more potent doses and substances in my future and to have more fun, adventurous, and uplifting experiences to talk about in my future.
This web page was last updated on 06_DECEMBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.
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