KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_404
I decided to stop using the name “Karlina Ray Beringer” as the name which I use to refer to myself. The name I prefer to call myself is “karbytes”. The (gender) pronoun I prefer to call myself is “it”.
“kabytes” suggested that I keep using the name “Karlina Ray Beringer” as the author name of my intellectual property and what I instruct other people to refer to me as for the sake of minimizing complexity.
“karbytes” approves of me continuing to self administer testosterone injections (which the state covers the cost (but I do have to pay less than $20 to get syringes and needles from the pharmacy where I have been having my prescriptions for testosterone sent)). It is very likely that I will sprout a beard and hence look unmistakably like a male-bodied human within a five years. I will use “Karlina Ray Beringer” for legal (especially as an inmate or as someone being accused of a crime), medical (especially as a patient), and business purposes (especially as a buyer). I will not demand that people (whether those people are strangers, acquaintances, or people I am more intimately familiar with) refer to me using any particular names and pronouns. I do respond well to being called “Karl” with male pronouns (i.e. “he”, “him”, “his”).
(I may get referred to as a bearded lady by some).
(I went to Zide Door in Oakland to get a gram of “ghost penis envy” ps mushrooms for $13 and consumed the whole gram while walking back to the Fruitvale BART station. I am sitting at my latest hangout spot in Dublin in a relatively rural place not too far from the corporate, residential, and commercial buildings. The sky is mostly clear with large patches of cirrus clouds. I hear the local birds make their vocalizations and respond happily when I hear the crows and turkeys announce their presence).
(I deliberately left my bag (which contained a hand-carved wooden pipe which I was attached to for nostalgic purposes but decided to let go of because I got the most use out of it I feel I really “needed”, a butane lighter with a stylized picture of the Statue of Liberty on it, and small crumblings of home-grown weed from my parents who live at two houses in Castro Valley. That bag was originally used to store vegan chocolate sunflower cereal in it called “Seven Sundays”) at the Fruitvale BART platform feeling guilty that I was just creating more “trash” for other people to clean up and that I was not doing something more “closure generating” such as throwing that bag into “the black hole” at the East Dublin BART parking garage (which is a fenced off space which I have used as a dumping ground for stuff I wanted to prevent myself from being able to retrieve after discarding). Without that smoking habit, I feel a lot less encumbered and, quite frankly, somewhat less of what I imagine to be “disabled looking” (according to animals other than myself)).
(I feel required to feel guilty for apparently being a burden for other people to put up with (and I assume that I am a burden to some humans other than myself to coexist with). At the same time, I feel obliged to stop feeling guilty for violating rules which are neither my own ethical precepts nor what I consider to be logically sound).
I am presently not willing to kill myself so that some other human can live. (I may even go so far as to kill myself to let someone else live “last minute” but I may also end up killing that other person so that I can live instead “last minute”; so do not trust me to uphold my promises).
My desire is to be as independent and as accurate in my understanding of reality as possible and to minimize how much I burden and inflict suffering on creatures other than my individual human-to-cyborg self (which I think is best referred to using the alias “karbytes” and the gender pronouns “it” and “its”).
As far as I can tell, I am not guilty of violating my own sense of ethics. If I learn that I am violating my own sense of ethics, I ideally would correct my behavior such that I am no longer violating my own sense of ethics (or I may update my sense of ethics to accommodate such behavior).
(Sometimes “informally” I call what I adhere to “natural law” (which is basically physics and not what humans necessarily expect nor what humans necessarily intentionally effect). “Natural law” permits governments to form, to compete with each other, to evolve, and to die).
This web page was last updated on 30_NOVEMBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.
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