KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_374


KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_374


image_link: https://github.com/karlinarayberinger/KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_PART_16C/blob/main/twitter_karbytes_17_november_2022_part_0.png



For the past few hours (during and after I added a new and improved version of the FACTORIAL software engineering tutorial web page to Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com), “Boo Boo” has been softly, mournfully, and plaintively whimpering and mooing and anxiously as though she is waiting for me to entertain her, comfort her, and uplift her. I think she has a serious case of existential angst and, unlike me, lacks a sense of purpose and the sense that there are things she can do which would make her smarter, happier, more connected to the outside world, more competent in terms of earning a paycheck doing something intellectually stimulating and creatively fulfilling instead of menial and shallow, and actionable instead of abstract and idle. I thought I should recommend her Actualized dot Org as an online resource and community for comprehensive personal development and modern spirituality (especially the latest video I watched from Actualized dot Org about serious philosophy), but then I realized that stuff is a bit too dry, wordy, and impersonal for her. (I remembered a tweet I saw earlier today asking for people to share the best self help book they could recommend and I replied that The War of Art (by Steven Pressfield (published 2002)) is one of the best because it quickly convinced me that most of my resistance to furthering my artistic potential is procrastination on my part (which made me realize that reading any more self help literature than necessary is procrastination). Mastering a creative discipline does not seem to be of interest to “Boo Boo”. Hence, I would recommend that she get into prayer and/or meditation and read His Princess and maybe books about Buddhism which is watered down for the masses. Since “Boo Boo” seems like a battered woman who can’t get her mind out of the bedroom and seems trapped in the role of a sex slave, I figured she might be happiest reading up on Taken In Hand relationships and going on dating sites to find a masculine man to be her masculine and domineering counterpart, care taker, and object of worship). I don’t know what else to do for you, “Boo Boo”. You seem to need someone else to take care of you, shelter you from challenges, and enable you to remain a helpless and uneducated little girl who rarely leaves her house and who is restricted to extremely feminine and non intellectual pastimes).

* * *

I did not feel like drawing another depiction of “Boo Boo”, but in my mind’s eye she has changed since that drawing I made of her in July. She looks like she aged by at least five years and put on at least forty pounds of blubber (especially in the breasts). She looks matronly yet her expressions and mannerisms seem more childish than ever before. Her facial expressions are sad, pouty, and passive aggressively angry. She sports a light pink teddy with a large scoop neck opening which reveals her engorged titties in a white lacy bra which looks like a doily. She jiggles her titties by standing on her tippy toes and dropping back down quickly and repeatedly while mooing and whimpering in an attention seeking manner while her boobs jiggle. Her eyes are big and doey and sedated looking. Some would say she is the ideal woman.

* * *

In terms of “Boo Boo” giving off the vibes of having been in a domestic abuse situation (and seemingly being unable to use her hands and much of her cerebral cortex (to the point that I would say she might have always been or has become illiterate and not at all resourceful, clever, witty, or vibrant (because she seems bedridden)), I thought journal entry # 356 of the Karbytes Journal 2022 section of this website paints a picture of what “Boo Boo” has looked like “behind closed doors” after coming home from her first and last shift as a cashier at a local small cafe and her chauvinist father did not want her going out ever again and tried to render her too traumatized to return to work so that she would nestle at home and be his stay at home bride.

* * *

According to what I currently know, doing what I want to do (i.e. indulging my geeky side and being as hardcore as possible about science, technology, and philosophy) is easy and enjoyable. What is difficult about my life is encountering resistance from those who seem to demand that I settle for being a “basic bitch” like “Boo Boo” and pretending I never wrote a single computer program and am mentally retarded. The lesson of this blog post is telling myself to focus on my geek side and minimizing how much I allocate cognitive and computational/internet resources to “Boo Boo”-esque matters.

* * *

What a lot of my journal entries for this year seem to be about is my “struggle” to escape being cornered into being trapped in “blue collar” (i.e. manual labor in industrial and/or outdoor settings) and/or “pink collar” (i.e. customer service, hospitality, sex work, childcare, caring for the sickly and/or elderly) professions, community, and culture in favor of being able to advance and remain immersed in “white collar” (particularly the technology sector) professions, community, and culture. I know I sound elitist and racist maybe even sexist to some, but I think I am above average in terms of how much of a positive impact I intend to make of human civilization to make it more egalitarian, enjoyable, healthy, and educated. Just my two cents for now! Thanks for listening to my latest spiel (as weird and inflammatory as it may seem to you). I hope I don’t feel obliged to write more drivel on this depressing and distressing subject and just focus on my chosen domain of interest and expertise for now on. I believe that by focusing on my self paced computer programming and eclectic studies projects, I will open doors to employment and recreational opportunities which suits me orders of magnitude better than defaulting to being a high functioning “Boo Boo” for the low-brow non-techie masses.

* * *

P: “No one wants to read your blog nor hear you talk about your own experience and opinions because everything people want to know about you is data mined from your Internet activity, global positioning tracking data, biofeedback sensor data, and gossip (and all that data mining and talking about you happens without your knowledge nor your consent). That’s a good thing because the people are more interested in what other people say about you and what you do not voluntarily share than what you voluntarily share about yourself. You should stop blogging and stop talking about yourself anymore than absolutely necessary and let other people talk about you and micromanage you in your absence (especially since you have a reputation for being a criminal, a narcissist, very lopsided in your interests, delusional, devoid of social support, unwilling to work harder to ingratiate yourself to others to earn your keep, and you are boring).”

karbytes: “Despite all that you just said, I still intend to keep publishing blog posts and social media posts and to keep most of what I publish online indefinitely because that is the best way I know of to have an official outlet and platform for sharing my perspective and ideas. I would rather be my own spokesperson than delegate that job to someone else. I might not be the most original, interesting, popular, or factually accurate source of the kinds of news I choose to share, but I really enjoy running my own media outlet because I am my main target audience (though I do like to imagine I have a following of at least ten “secret admirers” who like what I share and look forward to me sharing more).”

* * *

Because “my” car is almost out of gasoline and because I did not want people in Castro Valley seeing “my” car parked in Castro Valley (and accuse me of not going to work nor having enough obligations to attend to), I left it parked in the parking garage at Dublin BART station. As soon as I got back to my dad’s house and opened my backpack to take out the laptop, I saw my charger was missing. (It sure seems that there is a war on me having a computer science related career. I think people deliberately harass me whenever I want to use my laptop in public and even go so far as to steal and tamper with my equipment. I think I left my laptop charger at that electrical outlet near Whole Foods Market while I was in a haste to pack up and move my stuff because some guys in pickup trucks apparently doing landscaping were harassing me because they did not want me to enjoy using my laptop unless I was indoors). I’m in my dad’s car now as he fills his car with gasoline on our way to Dublin to try to get the laptop charger back. I’m afraid it might not be there when I arrive to look for it. My dad gave me $20 in cash to fill “my” car with enough gasoline to get it back to Castro Valley.

* * *

Good news: I found the laptop charger in the dirt where I thought I left it. I forgot to bring the keys to “my” car so I have to leave it parked at the Dublin BART parking garage until I get my keys (which are in my backpack which I left at my legal address).

* * *

The voices which law enforcement (or whoever) is beaming into my head have been teasing me during this entire fiasco involving the misplaced laptop charger. I would say that such voices are at least as counterproductive to me as they are helpful. They are more like bullies to me than they are allies. I think they want to prevent me from having as good of a life as I aspire to have because they want me to stay where they can use me as target practice and entertainment (and because they are more interested in mitigating crime than they are in facilitating social and technology progress. What I mean to say is that they would rather incapacitate me during a shroom trip such that I miss out on some of the insights which I would otherwise be having as a result of that shroom trip than allow me to enjoy the shroom trip unencumbered by law enforcement because they do not want to promote shroom usage even though it is becoming decriminalized and I bought my shrooms legally because psychedelics make it harder to keep the masses dumbed down, complacent, fear driven, and easy to control. Perhaps law enforcement is afraid of going out of business due to advancements in surveillance and law enforcement technology (thanks to a mass “awakening” due to widespread psychedelics usage which expedites such innovation) and cops want to postpone being rendered obsolete. The “Marvel heroes” are just cosplayers getting paid handsomely to do what machines can do orders of magnitude more efficiently and effectively (and such machines can prevent most crime before it happens such that there is almost nothing for the police to do).

* * *

I can hear coyote(s) barking through the garage door. I am in the garage at my dad’s house now finishing up this journal entry. The house Wi-Fi seems to be working well enough for this task. After this, I plan to go to the Lutheran church which is downhill from here (and approximately twenty minutes to walk to going at my usual pace) because that place has a little “cave” which is nice to sleep in. (I am a bit tired especially after skipping a sleep cycle, but I plan to get some more updates to my primary website done before I go to sleep tonight in that “cave” because I think that the cops (or whoever) rig my Internet connection to be extra slow and extra unreliable whenever I attempt to get into something “too intense” while at my legal address). The “cave” has consistently good AT&T mobile data coverage and there is even a working electrical outlet on the patio side of the church which is a godsend (pun intended)!


This web page was last updated on 17_NOVEMBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.