KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_35
25_AUGUST_2022: I have a particular kind of insecurity which I think might be worth writing about: the belief that there are other people trying to persuade me (and even physically coerce me) into remaining unemployed, homeless, and unable to sit down and concentrate my mind on anything I want it to focus on for more than five minutes. Some people seem to think that I deserve to be incessantly spammed with psychotronic harassment so that I am prevented from being able to garner a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from my day to day experiences (which means that I would feel that most of my time is being wasted and that my personal goals are being sabotaged).
Why would people insist that I go through such a punitive way of life? My guess is that some people think that I deserve to be punished for failing to conform to their expectations of what a model citizen is and, also, for failing to become financially independent from my parents in what they think is a timely manner.
Now that I am past a certain age, I have been knocked off the metaphorical pedestal where society’s most cherished citizens are meant to stand only so long as they maintain a sufficiently high net worth. There is only enough room on that pedestal for only a finite number of people. As new generations of humans are born and as those humans mature into upwardly mobile young adults, the “weakest” people on that pedestal will be pushed off so that more promising investments can replace them. The pedestal is seemingly not going to expand significantly to allow for more people to stand on that pedestal simultaneously (but the population, nevertheless, seems to be accelerating in terms of growth rate and decelerating in terms of death rate thanks to advancements in medicine and the proliferation of procreative propaganda which aggressively encourages people to have as many kids as possible as young as possible).
Please do not take what I said too seriously. I just wrote it to make myself feel better.
It makes me feel better to share my paranoid and apocalyptic fantasies on my public websites. I imagine that other people would feel that they can personally relate to the stories I write (which makes me feel that I am doing something to make the world a happier place by helping to validate the experiences of people who can related to the stories I write such that those people can feel less isolated and less misunderstood than they might otherwise be without my input).
Honestly, I think many people want me to attain success at getting a good job and building my legacy website (and excelling at other personal endeavors which I set out to accomplish). I do not think very many people want me to be forced to remain unemployed, homeless, and unable to sit down and concentrate my mind on anything I want it to focus on for more than five minutes.
The people who bully me via psychotronic harassment (or other bullying tactics) seem to be jealous of my experience, education, and level of development and want to make me feel diminished because such people garner pleasure from seeing people they are envious of or hateful towards take a loss.
If I want to be as euphanistic as possible, I would say that my bullies are helping me accomplish my goals faster than I would be able to without such meddling (but I would hazard a guess that I would be at least as fast at accomplishing my goals without such meddling).
Depending on how one cherry picks facts, one can argue that they have enough facts to support any position one wants to “prove”. As long as information can be omitted (i.e. censored) and people are starved of time to speak and to listen, there will never be enough time nor supporting evidence to conclusively win any debate (and people may not be heard because the audience and/or opponents are not paying attention to what is being argued).
I think many humans waste significant amounts of time, energy, money, and attention on debating issues which could be debated endlessly simply because such people are afraid to move onto something new to do with their time. In other words, humans tend to settle for seeking homeostasis instead of making risky investments which are intended to raise their quality of consciousness.
My plan is to only talk to people as little as necessary and to be as autonomous as possible (though I will be gregarious at times and go out of my way to have conversations with other people so that I can learn more about the world and maybe contribute something useful to the person I am talking to). For as long as I live, I intend to do little more than go to work and to spend my free time in as much solitude as possible doing what I think is personally meaningful. Most of the social support I get is via the Internet; not through physical gatherings (and I rarely feel needy for other people’s attention and feedback). I intend to remain single, childless, and living as an able bodied vagrant for the rest of my life. Since I will have no comparatively high maintenance others to live with such as a romantic partner or children, I will not have to provide an expensive place of refuge for such people to live inside of since almost all of my possessions are in my backpack and I prefer to take advantage of free or low cost public amenities. On weekends I can rent a hotel room and buy drugs so that I can have quality “me time”.
This web page was last updated on 05_SEPTEMBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.
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