KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_300
To get around the rules I set for myself in the 297th journal entry of the Karbytes Journal 2022 section of this website, I may, in the future, include references to persons I vowed to never mention in this blog again using only nicknames and while treating the nicknamed characters as literally different people than the characters I wrote about using those people’s old names.
Last night I completed what appears to be all of the online portions of my job training for what appears to be night shift load crew at the Smart & Final warehouse-like grocery store in Dublin while using the Wi-Fi at Whole Foods Market in Dublin. (Right now I am using my mobile AT&T data to establish a wired Internet connection such that my laptop is effectively plugged into a “private” Internet hotspot using a USB-C cable which attaches to my Android phone). Now it is a clear October morning and I am still in Dublin. I am sitting in the generous shade of two large oak trees very close to a flock of nine turkeys (now they are running off to the trees behind me in the eastward direction). I found a ridiculously strategic camping spot I have never been to before today (i.e. the place I am currently sitting at). Today I plan on walking and riding BART back to Castro Valley to fetch my tent which I am fairly certain is still in the car parked at my mom’s house, taking a shower/washing my period-blood drenched shorts, and taking the tent back to this camping spot (and I intend to stow the tent in the tree in the hopes that no one steals my tent and so that it is conveniently available to me in case it rains).
Whether or not I have a job, I hope to be able to live here. It is a nice secluded, quiet, and picturesque place full of natural beauty which reminds me of thirteen years ago when I briefly lived in Merced while attending University of California Merced before dropping out to move back to my parents house to go to Chabot Community College instead and to start “gender affirming” testosterone injections (which I did for 1.5 years consecutively in order to masculinize my phenotype (voice especially)) which I did under guidance from Dimensions Clinic in San Francisco. (Yesterday, I decided that I want to resume taking testosterone because I think I am much happier presenting as a man than as a woman (though I really think of myself as being “70% masculine and 30% feminine” ANDROGYNOUS (and, after learning from experience, attempting to be genderless does not exactly work for me because doing so makes me feel like an amorphous, asexual blob which is babyish and bland)). Hence, I scheduled a phone appointment with the Planned Parenthood clinic in Hayward to see if I can get medical approval to get a prescription for testosterone which I can pick up at a local pharmacy rather than have delivered to my mailbox. The only thing I am afraid of pertaining to resuming the hormone injections is liver damage, male pattern baldness, and acne (but I look forward to possibly being able to grow a beard while keeping my legal name and gender the same and likely using the nickname “Karl” to refer to myself)).
I am glad to be born with two X-chromosomes in the time and place I was born because I have the means to engineer myself to be “superhuman”. I get to look and sound like a man but I do not have to be burdened with a penis and I get to enjoy having a vagina and the unique attributes of being a female bodied human (which I really do appreciate and take pleasure in). To be clear, I am glad that I was born into a female human body instead of a male human body (and I think I won the genetic lottery and was especially blessed to be raised in an affluent and high-tech part of the world with liberal parents and with easy access to beautiful wilderness areas). Part of my job as a blogger is to show off what an idealistic lifestyle I can have if I put my mind to it (especially now that I have plenty of adult experience and skills which I used to lack back when I was first getting started with my “Karl” identity more than ten years ago).
The turkeys are back. Now it looks like they are headed over to the trees to the right of me.
A blue jay has been hopping around the shade of the tree I am sitting next to; picking food out of the dry grass (and there seem to be a lot of acorns scattered on the ground). Another blue jay has arrived at the scene.
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I felt the “need” to confess some sin which I committed years ago after 2015 while living at my dad’s house in Castro Valley. I got so annoyed over having too little privacy, quietude, and space that, when I heard a little boy making lots of noise next door, I grabbed a handful of rocks from the garden and threw them over the fence where that kid was located. Fortunately, the rocks did not appear to cause any damage. For everyone’s safety and comfort, I am trying to minimize how often and how long I visit either one of my parents’ houses in Castro Valley. Perhaps I should limit my overnight visits there to camping at the campgrounds in the hills above Lake Chabot when I want to go on a cheap vacation for the weekend. Otherwise, I tentatively plan to mostly stay in Dublin as an urban camper.
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Now there are 21 turkeys in “my” campsite. Some of them ran off to the east. Most of them are picking at the grass where I am at and occasionally making squeaking vocalizations. A squirrel arrived from the east and appears to be scavenging for fallen acorns. I saw a bluejay fly away with an acorn in its mouth.
The turkeys appear to be relaxing now. Many of them are fluffing their feathers and preening themselves. Now I see two squirrels feasting on acorns.
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