I logged into my account at SmartFinal.csod.com and saw that the mandatory online trainings are due on 31_OCTOBER_2022 and that approval to complete those trainings is “pending”. I am worried that I am not going to be allowed to complete those trainings in time and that I am being “softly” fired before I even start the job I was offered. What seems like “the right thing” to do is for me to wait until later this week to contact a store manager so that I do not come across as desperate and impatient, but I think it might be better for me to walk into the store today or at least call the store to see if I can be approved to do the online trainings.

Other than dealing with the nerve wracking “onboarding” process (and not knowing whether or not I really have been offered a job), I plan to work on my primary website tonight. I have been feeling under siege from people who seem to want me to feel miserable and prevented from accomplishing my goals. Rather than wait for the sense that I am being bullied and shortchanged by others to cease (because it might not), I will just try my best to work on my primary website while accepting that I do not feel as happy, respected, and supported as I think I should be. (Perhaps I am being punished for saying insulting and maligning things about AJP, women, Hispanics, cops, breeders, Christians, Americans, and humans in general online and even just for thinking such things).

If it is any consolation to myself, getting Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com up to date before 01_JANUARY_2023 is more important that getting a job and more important than making people want to support me and forgive me for whatever “transgressions” they may be holding a grudge about against me. Humans are not the only pieces of intelligence that exist in the universe I live in (and the universe in which my websites reside). There are coyotes, birds, deer, cats, bees, trees, and many more intricate and inspiring pieces of intelligence for me to behold and to think about; to appreciate. In addition to organic life forms which emerged as a result of “natural processes” (instead of by human engineering), artificial intelligence is also what I consider to be at least a rudimentary form of intelligence no less conscious than “naturally occurring” organisms of similar complexity. If artificial intelligences become at least as complex (in terms of intelligence) as humans, then I would consider those artificial intelligences to be at least as sentient and knowledgeable as humans are. I do not consider humans to be the pinnacle of evolution. The artificial intelligences and lab-created carbon-based life forms humans help to engineer may be higher up on what I consider to be a hierarchy of intelligence complexity. Likewise, I consider atoms and molecules to be intelligent agents which are significantly less intelligent than are single celled organisms but, nevertheless, possessing rudimentary sentience.

I heard the psychotronic voices saying something like, “Don’t you get it? You’re not supposed to do anything except for procrastinate and look uptight and unhappy. You’re not supposed to have this much financial independence. You’re supposed to be a stay at home Mexican immigrant who’s too abused to do anything but procrastinate. You’re not supposed to do anything but wait for your father to make money.” I am routinely bombarded with antagonistic messages like that and I have heard other people in my midst laugh sadistically seemingly in order to make me feel outnumbered and trapped in a degrading position while they watch and attempt to micromanage me round the clock; acting as “backseat writers” trying to disrupt my creative writing processes so that my web pages are riddled with errors and missing key bits of information. Apparently, I am not supposed to have anything to enjoy any sense of personal accomplishment unless the people approve of me (and I do not think they really do). Rather than wait for people to show me more kindness and respect, I am going to assume that I will have to wait many years to be treated witht the kindness and respect I feel I deserve and have not been getting and just “selfishly” devote myself to my personal endeavors exclusively (and only occasionally do charitable acts for other people so that I am not too depleted of time, energy, and money to work as hard and as well as I really think I should be on my personal projects). If I am supposed to be less mentally and physically active than I am, if I am supposed to spend money less lavishly than I currently do, and if I am supposed to be more socially conformist than I currently am as implicit requirements to get hired, I would rather not get hired than have to forsake who I am and what I do (even if that means I remain unemployed for another year).

People honk their horns a lot and smoke cigarettes a lot in my vicinity. People are annoying. People are the single biggest stressor in my life (yet they are the gatekeepers to what I need to feel safe, healthy, and productive). I will try my best, for now on, not to say any more “offensive” things about those Very Important Apes on my websites (and online in general) to avoid getting punished (though, no matter what I do, I seem to always end up getting punished by the humans for not doing exactly what they want me to at all times). Also, I will do my best not to put humanity on a pedestal. Not very humans, in my opinion, are deserving of my admiration. Most humans, in my opinion, do little more than the bare minimum to conform to their local society while leading uninteresting, unoriginal lives where all they do is poop out some babies to earn their keep and/or act as slaves to other adults and children with no artistic or intellectual endeavors to showcase (and while recklessly polluting the environment, destroying the delicate balance of Earth’s ecosystems, and enslaving, imprisoning, and slaughtering non-human animals for the comfort of humans). I am not content to just be a mere body. I demand to be a creator first and foremost; not just another consumer who does little more than mimic other humans.

* * *

Anyway…I just looked at a blog post someone else wrote about some dangerous drug I have, until now, never heard of called “Flakka” (i.e. “the zombie drug”). I think I might watch a little video about it before I head back to Castro Valley. (Right now I am hanging out near the patio at the Whole Foods Market in Dublin to use the Wi-Fi to watch videos).

* * *

(I beg myself to, please, please, please, make this journal entry the absolute last time I sound like such a self-pitying, misanthropic complainer. I know I can do so much better than this. Life is too short to spend so much time shoveling poops through the matrix. I would rather be mining for gems and loading them up into my (ideally) immortal array of web pages; the cluster of websites I call Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com and Karbytes For Life dot WordPress dot Com).

Not everyone deserves a home. Only families with minor children (the younger, the more deserving) deserve to have homes. Meanwhile, everyone else deserves to be evicted to make way for those families (and those families deserve to be first in line for social services, donations, medical care, and other commodities which are scarce in supply).

The paragraph above explains why I “secretly” hate little kids and their snooty parents. I do not want to treat such families like royalty. I do not want to have to act subservient to them. I would rather give them the cold shoulder and make them feel undeserving of my attention.

image_link: https://github.com/karlinarayberinger/KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_PART_16B/blob/main/smartandfinal_pending_training_24_october_2022.png

image_link: https://github.com/karlinarayberinger/KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_PART_16B/blob/main/smartandfinal_employee_profile_24_october_2022.png

This web page was last updated on 24_OCTOBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.