08_OCTOBER_2022: I was considering publishing a survey post on Twitter asking other Twitter users for their input on what the legal consequences of my domestic violence misdemeanor from 2018 should be (and that misdemeanor was throwing a stainless steel teaspoon at the back of a family member’s head during a heated argument while I was standing on the stairs and the target was on the first floor). Then I decided not to publish that Twitter survey because, in the past, very few people engaged with my posts (and I do not want to dwell on this subject for any longer than necessary while waiting for people to participate in my survey only to see that they are deliberately trying to make me feel ostracized, punished, and neglected as a result of them refusing to participate).
I remember that my conviction was labeled by the local justice system as a misdemeanor and I was jailed at Santa Rita County Prison for no longer than a month (after being hospitalized at John George Psychiatric Hospital for approximately three days). As far as I can tell, I was treated as fairly as I ought to have been (i.e. the “punishment” was not excessively severe nor what I would call a violation of my basic human rights). Sadly, and with great dread and even hatred, there seem to be people (mostly strangers) who seem to think that I deserve to be punished more harshly (and I see them trying to take matters into their own hands by stalking me and harassing me in me in public).
The screenshot image displayed below captures a portion of Reddit in which people are discussing their opinions on retribution and how criminals should be treated in response to committing a crime. I agree with the answerer that criminal justice should be handled by the government and not by mere civilians because, from what I can tell, those who are trained for roles in law enforcement and criminal justice are better equipped to handle emotionally charged conflicts which they are not personally directly involved in (as either perpetrator of some crime or else victim of some crime) than are people who are not trained and certified experts in that domain and/or who are likely going to favor more punitive and primal forms of criminal reform than would the professional third-party mediators.
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I tried calling AJP twice in a row with less than a minute between both calls hoping to get his opinion on the matter I was thinking of making a Twitter survey about earlier. I think AJP is one of the anonymous persons using “technological telepathy” to communicate with me 24 hours per day every day (and that he is one of the people who thinks I deserve to be punished more severely and that I deserve to suffer more than I think I ought to in retaliation for the violent misdemeanor I described above and for other social faux pas I committed in his eyes).
To me it seems that AJP and other people think that, as punishment for not fitting in better with society, I deserve to be ignored and not allowed to participate in large-scale social events nor even use the campus I am technically still a student at (i.e. California State University East Bay in Hayward, California (and my student ID is ef4645)) because I am considered too unapproved of and unappreciated to be deserving of happiness, health, and the personal satisfaction and social leverage of pursuing an education.
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I called AJP two times in the same manner I did as described in the previous paragraph (approximately twenty minutes later) and, again, got no response. I have come to the conclusion that AJP is deliberately refusing to answer the phone when I call and does not want me to feel good. (If he did, I think he would make much more of an effort to answer my questions in an honest and timely manner). To avoid further disappointment and antagonism, I intend to neither contact AJP nor respond to contact from AJP. In what I think is an ideal world, at least 99% of people would be willing to discuss things openly, honestly, constructively, and in an efficient manner. Unfortunately, I think it is very popular for people to deliberately prevent those kinds of exchanges from happening because people generally seem to prefer holding grudges and prolonging suffering over forgiving enemies and minimizing suffering for all parties.
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Approximately 20 minutes after the last paragraph was published: while I was walking to a relatively secluded place to charge my laptop and walking past a stream of glowing cars beneath a starry night sky with an almost full moon in the east, AJP called my phone and I picked up. I attempted to get clear answers about how AJP would handle violent crimes and AJP seemed unwilling to give a clear answer. I suggested that he would just let the current laws be applied instead of his own. He seemed to agree. He said that someone who commits a violent murder should be jailed for life. I told AJP I would not jail anyone for more than ten years and asked the (non rhetorical) question, “What is the purpose of keeping someone in jail for life if they are ultimately not going to be allowed to participate in society?” He did not answer. I cannot tell whether he has more detailed and/or definitive answers which he is not willing to share with me or if his mind is literally registering a blank in response to my questions and comments.
It was nice to be able to talk to AJP briefly. He does not sound as unfriendly and dripping with animosity as are the voices which seem to be coming from law enforcement. Perhaps I am still being punished for the violent crime I described in this journal entry by the police (but my punishment is being subject to psychotronic “torture” and interference instead of a multi-month or multi-year prison sentence). Perhaps it would be most profitable for me to imagine that AJP is not trying to increase my suffering rather than assume he is. Such “wishful thinking” may help me sleep better at night. Maybe not. Maybe it is best to assume that he is as unopinionated and nonretributive as he sounded on the phone tonight.
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