24_SEPTEMBER_2022: While hiking up the long hill to a nice vista of the San Francisco Bay Area (Northern California) from the vantage of San Leandro hills, I appreciated how there were so many commercial airplanes glistening in the air at once. The stars in the sky above and the city lights illuminating the flats of the Bay Area like a fancy computer circuit board enchanted me. Without having to turn my head and while looking towards the bay, I see at least three illuminated airplanes at once; each traversing a relatively straight line going a direction all the other airplanes in that space are not.
The significance of writing this note is that observing human-made aircrafts and spacecrafts such as airplanes and satellites reminds me of what I like about humanity (and how such feats of engineering would likely not be possible if it were not for humans gradually domesticating themselves to become less violent as time passes across multiple generations of humans. Though I have never read the book, Steven Pinker wrote some book titled “Better Angles of Our Nature” discussing that historical trend. (I did not bother providing a Wikipedia link to extrapolate on this subject because, quite frankly, I am tired of spending so much of my blog space on anthropocentricism instead of more general understandings of intelligence).
(By the way, some smiling and energetic young guy on a BART train saw me sitting on the Castro Valley BART station platform and gave me a generous bag full of dry food stuffs. Though I did not really want it, I tried to appear grateful. I felt bad about the thought of discarding that bag by leaving it abandoned like a baby. Hence, I carried the bag with me all the way to wear “my” car has been sitting idly for over a week. I put the bag in the front seat then closed and locked the door. (When I came to unlock it today, I noticed that the car was unlocked (and I would not be surprised if my parents did that in order to nonverbally insinuate that they are patrolling my whereabouts with that vehicle))).
Needless to say, it is much less of a karmic burden for me to simply walk. Bicycling is still a luxury at this time seemingly no person (except for myself) is willing to help me afford. I see that I face a monumental amount of resistance from people just for not driving a car like “everyone else does”. Perhaps my “real” job is to get around without a car (especially by walking and by being a good backpacker and solo traveler and camper who knows how to effectively use the resources at my disposal.
(For those who do not know how I use the Internet seemingly whenever I want to, I use my Android phone to establish a mobile Internet connection to my laptop computer using a USB-C cable at a rate of $20 per every 3 gigabytes of mobile data through the mobile phone service provider named AT&T).
I have started preferring to almost always wear my white bucket hat (even at night) because it provides me the illusion of being underneath some kind of roof instead of naked beneath the sky which feels like an unblinking eye always watching me. I especially enjoy wearing headphones (and I am starting to strongly prefer the in-ear instead of over-ear because in-ear headphones take up less space and do not seem to get displaced as easily as the more loose-fitting over-ear headphones I would have gotten for approximately the same price).
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Update (25_SEPTEMBER_2022): the petroleum powered car which I am borrowing and keeping parked so that it is not in front of my parents’ houses while I get my life together has been tampered with by my dad. While he was borrowing that car, he smoked cigarettes in it such that there is a lingering stench of cigarette smoke which is enough to make me nauseous after being in that car for just five minutes. He also “accidentally” left the windows down during a rain storm such that there was mold growing in the car and the seats were damp for weeks. Methinks my father is jealous of me having a life outside the home and wants to deprive me of being able to use that car as a place to hangout inside of like some kind of miniature mobile home. The region I live in seems to be populated with people who thinks that my life should revolve around pleasing some patriarch and settling for being abused if I do not conform to that patriarch’s desires. Also, the people around me seem to value keeping the personal details of their life mostly private so as to not expose any corrupt politics occurring inside the “safety” of the family home. (I feel that I have been effectively evicted without anyone explicitly communicating that fact to me because of how much other people go out of their way to prevent me from using my parents’ houses as a place to use my laptop for more than an hour. I bet if they had their way, I would not be allowed to go to those places at all and I would be forced to take sponge baths in public sinks and to hand wash my clothes or coin laundry mats. I use my parents’ houses just to take a shower (no more than once per every three days) and to wash my clothes (no more than once per week). The food at their houses tends to be gross and easy to put hidden ingredients inside of. Perhaps the people are trying to help me move out and not feel so deprived of my own life by demanding I become homeless and remain homeless indefinitely. What I really think is that the people wants me to serve them as a scapegoat for the government and civilians to mistreat so that other people can benefit from my sociology “research”. I see that almost no one shows me appreciation for the “work” I do. They just drop hints (and often while making derogatory remarks and gestures as they do) in an effort to “help” me (the poor, lost, wayward, demon-possessed sheep) get back to being a normal member of the herd. Perhaps the people just want me to resume being as “white” and as sheltered as I was a decade ago sans the upwardly mobile career path and just stay in some kind of lukewarm marriage to some guy who will give me a place to live but demand that I have no independence from him in order to do so (and to be clear, I am single and childless and intend to remain that way for the rest of my life). Perhaps what I dislike about people most is how unable and/or unwilling they generally are to speak up in clear, precise terms about what they want and how they feel (and with the intent to solve problems rather than to prolong any person’s suffering).
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