KARBYTES_JOURNAL_2022_ENTRY_133
P: “If you are not homeless, then why do you sleep outside and rarely go home?”
Q: “Even though my legal address is still my parent’s house, I avoid going home unless it’s to wash my clothes, take a shower, and check my mailbox because I do not enjoy the company of some of the people there. I feel that some of those people are a bit passive-aggressive and tamper with my belongings when I am not looking and watch me like a hawk while not seeming to do much more than watch television for a living. Also, the house is steeped in third-hand cigarette smoke and there is little in the way of private and quiet places to go inside of that house or near it.”
P: “Your parents let you live with them for free. Hence, you should be more grateful and willing to take advantage of that fact. You could have an easier life if you just stayed inside your house more and learned to tolerate the noises and antics which bother you. It’s probably all in your head anyway. I bet the other people in your house are just minding their own business and you are paranoid that they are stalking you and tampering with your belongings.”
Q: “You are not the only person to suggest that I am the only person at fault in this situation. In the past I tried to adapt to living in my house, but I was not successful at being able to stick to a rigorous personal development routine because the level of concentration required demands that I have a more quiet and secluded environment.”
P: “Not everyone can afford their own luxury studio apartment for one. Not everyone has the money and time to pursue activities outside of working for pay and taking care of basic survival needs. People who have advanced college degrees still have to compete with other candidates for lucrative, prestigious, and intellectually-demanding jobs. You might have had a chance several years ago to secure a high paying information technology job, but because you dropped out of college and failed to complete your undergraduate degree in computer science, your chances of ever getting an information technology job are very small. The best you can hope for is a low-end customer service job or warehouse job. You are basically obsolete in the white collar professional world. Plenty of people who are younger than you and more qualified than you are guaranteed to fill those positions (and not very many people are needed at such positions which means only the best of the best will be offered such positions). It is futile for you to try to secure a job in the tech industry. Just be humble and be grateful anyone is willing to give you a job at all. It’s not like you are seriously needed anywhere. If you get a job, it is entirely because you need money to survive in this capitalist society and not having a job is an invitation to be treated like a loitering villain. Having a job is supposed to keep you off the streets doing something which makes you look somewhat productive (or at least busy) so that other people do not feel uncomfortable seeing you just sitting outside in public thinking and observing.”
Q: “If people are so uncomfortable with me merely sitting outside alone to meditate, perhaps I should just jump off a very tall cliff and kill myself so that those people do not have to be bothered by me sitting outside alone to meditate while they are comparatively busy and sociable.”
P: “That might not be a bad idea, but the people who do not want you to meditate outdoors would prefer that your mind be put to what they think is good use. When they see you sitting there and basking in the glow of your own mental throughput, it makes those people upset because those people think you are being stingy with your time and energy and are not doing enough to contribute to the capitalist machine which demands that everyone be perpetually busy and focused on other people. Jumping off a cliff to escape fulfilling your civic duty is not what the people want (but it might be what is best for you if you decide that contributing to society the way the other people want is a waste of your time and/or tortuous).”
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