Note that, in this web page, I say some things which seem a bit outlandish. The passages which are highlighted is what I want to emphasize. The stuff that is not highlighted is just to help provide a context for what I am describing. I do not seriously believe that my family is trying to put me away in a mental hospital nor do I think they have been told to withhold information from me. It has been years since I have had close interpersonal relationships. It has been years since I have had conversations with people which were not surface level small talk. Hence, I cannot help but feel a bit deprived of deeper conversations with other people. Also, I have been living like a shipwrecked castaway for years and am a bit rusty when it comes to having “normal” relationships. To avoid wasteful arguing, I will just blame myself for why I have not had much more than surface level interactions with other people since I lost my best friend in 2015. Since I lost my best friend in 2015, I have clammed up and not been very motivated to forge new friendships. I still feel that way at the time this web page is being published. Without that particular friend in my life, I do not feel that very many people could take that person’s place. Hence, I have mostly kept to myself and shunned friendships with other people as a waste of my time.
Something which I seem to be worried about every minute of every day is the possibility that my websites and/or social media profiles and posts are being censored such that I am fed the illusion that I am not being censored when, in reality, my websites and/or social media profiles and posts are being hidden from other people’s search engine results and/or other people are being subliminally influenced by electromagnetic signals which the government directs at their brains such that those people do not realize that they are being prevented from carrying out trains of thought and behavior which the government does not approve of (and that includes those people being deterred from checking out what I have to say on the Internet).
Pig Gorl interjects with her usual damning messages saying things like, “No one cares about what you have to say. You are being prevented from being discovered on the Internet as anything but a mentally ill person and q misinformed person with nothing of value to contribute to society. Hell, you are even being prevented from getting a job so that you are forced to depend entirely on your family for all of your survival needs (and you are hardly allowed to do much more than eat, sleep, shit, and think repetitive, depressing, and myopic thoughts so that no one knows how smart, ambitious, creative, and likeable you really are. Meanwhile, you are being told that you need to get a job and that you are having trouble doing the bare minimum to survive and, hence, need to be kept under strict government supervision (on suicide watch also) and prevented from knowing a lot about what is going in in your own situation and with the world at large because you are deemed to be too mentally fragile to handle much more than what a young child knows. We have convinced many people that you are not to be trusted and that you have a serious mental illness which prevents you from doing anything but thinking and behaving like a small child who is unable to mature past seven years old. People have been told not to tell you that you are being treated like a child who cannot grow up and who has to be prevented from doing anything too mentally challenging so that you do not have a mental breakdown. Hence, if anyone knows about your existence at all, what they know is that you are not expected to do much more than barely cope with a severe mental disability which prevents you from advancing past a very low level of functioning. People have been told that even getting a part time job as a cashier is beyond your capabilities and that you have an illness which is expected to get worse as time goes on and that you will become increasingly disabled as time goes on. Hence, people have largely dismissed you as an incurable basket case because, for whatever reason, you are being prevented from maturing. The people do not care whether or not it is due to some kind of illness or injury or if it is due to being deliberately maimed by human-caused interference. You simply do not have enough friends and family on your side willing to be your advocate. Because you do not have enough people to speak up on your behalf, you are presumed to be an incurable invalid who is being trained to accept that you are being prepared to be put away in a nursing home after a certain point in your life (and once you are put away in that nursing home, you will no longer be allowed to work on your website nor have much in the way of contact with the world outside of that nursing home so that only the nursing home staff will know that you ever existed (and any records that exist about you will be trimmed down to very minimal details which do not include anything about your websites; just basic details like birth date, birth location, close relatives, home town until age 18 years, high school, and that’s it. Scandalous information such as your criminal history, credit history, and employment history will be expunged from public data bases and made only available to Central Intelligence Agency personnel)). Your family knows about this but they have been instructed by law enforcement and medical staff not to tell you that they know. Your family is just quietly waiting for you to come down from your grandiose delusions and realize how you are not allowed to do anything nor be known for anything and how you are not expected to do much other than kick, scream, and end up incarcerated in a hospital once that reality fully dawns on you. That is why no one reaches out to you anymore. That is why no one talks to you about your projects. Your family members have been instructed to ignore your artistic and intellectual endeavors so that you do not get encouraged to be narcissistic. Your family members have been instructed to treat you like a body and nothing more (and your relatives are not supposed to show interest in anything about you except for you physical appearance and legal matters). Your family members know you hear voices beamed into your skull from electromagnetic interference generated by law enforcement and your family members have been instructed to dismiss what you have to say on the matter as you having schizophrenia. This is to prevent you from speaking any more than necessary. People are tired of hearing you talk. People do not like what you have to talk about. Hence, you are being tortured into silence and submission so that you can quietly be put away and forgotten about where you will continue to be tortured and experimented on behind the scenes where only hospital staff and government know what is happening to you. By that point, your family will be relieved of the burden you are and they will be able to carry on with their lives as though you died.”
As an extension of what I said I am worried about is how I have noticed that almost no one has bothered donating money to my PayPal donation links on my websites (and the PayPal link is on the home page of each of those websites). I also noticed that no one has given me any feedback about the content I published on those websites. I think people know that it would help me sleep better at night knowing that other people notice what I have done online and maybe even appreciate what I do enough to support me via a modest donation but people seem quite reluctant to offer even the most tepid forms of support despite how often I have asked in the past. What I am generally told to do is give up and settle for being ignored, censored, and left in the dark about what it is I want to know; to settle for being nothing more than a piece of chattel to keep at bay; to keep restrained. (It seems that, the more serious and clear headed I get about my situation, the less people are willing to support me. It seems that, once I know the value of money and time and have strategies in mind for how to implement my dream lifestyle, no one except for me wants me to win. They just want me to be deprived of having my own income so that I do not have enough freedom and peace of mind to truly enjoy myself. I think people prefer that I stay in chronically and severely unhappy and unable to do anything to remedy my situation for their own sadistic amusement and so that they do not have to feel jealous of me having a better life than what they settled for).
If I did not have to spend so much time fighting to not be censored, stolen from, and tortured, I would probably spend more time doing research on and discussing with other people the topic of outsourcing most jobs to robots and instantiating a universal basic income which enables every person to pursue whatever they choose to spend their time on 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. I do believe that the physical resources and technical knowledge already exists to completely transition from fossil fuels to more sustainable energy sources, to extend human lifespans by several hundred years, and to end poverty and wage slavery. I think that society is not advancing as quickly as it should because most people are tortured and threatened into playing small and being too modest, humble, and small minded for their own good so as to not make their peers jealous or retaliatory. People are told that all they can do is turn to their families for comfort and meaning and that having babies and working full time to support those babies is meant to take up the bulk of their lives such that people do little more than survive and pass on their genes and wait to be told what to do by authorities while doing their best not to take on any more than the bare minimum in terms. People are told to live in the moment rather than think about humanity’s long term future. People are told that it is not their place to shape the future and that someone smarter, wealthier, and more stress-resistant than them will do the work of advancing civilization while everyone else just waits blindfolded for fruits to fall out out the sky into their laps while those simpletons toil away at some job that is grueling yet mind-numbingly dull and shallow; something a robot could do orders of magnitude more efficiently.
I am afraid that if I share this article on my social media accounts that people will not read it or, if they do, they will only read parts of it and/or dismiss it as me just feeling sorry for myself and looking for attention and reassurance. I would appreciate if people gave me honest and considerate feedback on what I have had to say in this journal entry. I am afraid that what I have written is simply not sufficiently relevant to more than 99.99% of humanity and, therefore, asking people to read this journal entry and to comment on it is a waste of their time. If I was writing about some topic which pertains more to society at large and less to me in particular such as gentrification, systemic racism, and working conditions at some large company, then I imagine that sharing that writing would be more conscientious and less wasteful of people’s time. Perhaps I should give it a whirl and be experimental and see what kinds of reactions on social media I get if I pin a web page link referring to this journal entry to the top of my Minds and Twitter profiles for a month (even though this journal entry feels a bit shrill, narcissistic, and lacking in substance compared to the kinds of articles I think I ought to be writing by now).
The following highlighted text is what I will use in the social media posts which I will have pinned to my Minds and Twitter profiles between 13_SEPTEMBER_2022 to 13_OCTOBER_2022.
To whom it may concern: I am leaving this link to a page in one of my personal websites pinned to my social media profiles for at least one month to see if anyone is willing to tell me whether or not my website is being censored.
I already imagine that some of the replies I would get would sound like this: “It must be hard having a mental illness. I get that you feel no one cares about you. Well, you are appreciated and hope you get well soon. Take it one day at a time. I struggled too. Lithium really helped me. Have you considered anti psychotic and mood stabilizing pharmaceutical medications to manage your mental illness?” To be clear, I am convinced that I am smarter than most people are, that I do not have a mental illness and never have (though I was diagnoses as having bipolar, schizophrenia, and “complicated” mental illnesses in the past after a series of traumatic events happened in close temporal proximity to each other and I overdosed on lots of medical marijuana for the first time), and that I am a bit “ahead of the times” and being treated as a criminal by the government so that I do not help society become more advanced more quickly. In other words, I think that the government is trying to keep people like me from having a large scale impact on society so that people do not “wake up” from the spell they are under to keep living in a dysfunctional and slavish manner while being discouraged from pursuing deeper introspection and even time to pause between the hustle and bustle of mundane existence so that the automation and universal basic income revolution is postponed indefinitely (and perhaps that is to thin out the population so that most people die as a result of environmental destabilization, false scarcity of essential resources, genocide disguised as viral pandemics, and more overt forms of warfare such that only a minority of extremely wealthy and influential oligarchs get to survive and pass on their genes and turn Planet Earth into their elitist paradise after more than five billion humans are obliterated). Why else would psychedelics still be criminalized rather than made legal and widely accessible as a tool for large scale healing and evolution?
This web page was last updated on 13_SEPTEMBER_2022. The content displayed on this web page is licensed as PUBLIC_DOMAIN intellectual property.