I noticed that, oftentimes when I play narrator to my own life or otherwise talk in a way which seems to distance me from being mired in an emotionally charged first-person perspective by using tones and words which seem relatively third person rather than first person, Pig Gorl gets mad and tries to push me back into being an emotionally reactive and small minded victim.
(To be clear, first person implies speaking from the position of “I”, second person implies speaking to “you”, and third person implies speaking about subjects other than the speaker and the listener such as “he”, “she”, “it”, and “them”).
Pig Gorl is a caricature I invented which is based on a specific category of auditory stimuli I detect as a result of signals transmitted to my skull via what I hypothesize is microwave auditory effect. I imagine that Pig Gorl is the wife of a patriarch who works for Big Petroleum, Big Tobacco, and the Meat Industry. I would describe Pig Gorl’s personality as being impatient, close minded, embittered, nagging, and drama mongering. I would describe her vocalizations as being incessant (and reminiscent of a colicky baby who will not stop crying plaintively), childish (i.e. high pitched; resonating from a child-sized mouth, throat, and nose; limited to short, simple, and self-centered phrases; unperceptive to most replies; and unwilling to pause to reflect and elaborate in any detail what she says), and nagging (i.e. insinuating dissatisfaction, demanding attention, and sounding unwaveringly self righteous).
What is Pig Gorl so mad about? At the highest level of abstraction, I imagine that Pig Gorl is terrified of having to be alone with her thoughts, feelings, and experiences and is, hence, steadfast in her addiction to picking fights with me and preventing me from turning my attention away from her petulant antics for even a second. As a less abstract level, I see that Pig Gorl believes that I should be prevented from traveling without a (petroleum powered) car and should not be allowed to leave the home nor hold down a job unless I am dependent on having to borrow my parents’ petroleum powered car. If I choose to walk, ride the BART trains, or ride a bicycle to do my errands and/or to go to school/work, Pig Gorl berates me incessantly by calling me a prostitute and “excuse whore” for not taking the quickest and most convenient commute method. She seems unwilling to acknowledge that my commute preferences have anything to do with mitigating my harmful impact on the environment and promoting an environmentally sustainable lifestyle. If Pig Gorl could speak in a more articulate manner about her disapproval of me taking “green” commute methods, I imagine that she would say something like this: “Not enough people are doing what you are doing to make your efforts worthwhile. No one wants to support your green lifestyle because it goes against the grain of mainstream society (and what mainstream society values more than saving the environment is convenience, comfort, prestige, and social power. You are no match for those who drive multi-ton tanks made of metal. Such people would hardly get a scratch while your bones and soft tissues would be smashed if you and them got into a collision. Also, the people deliberately go out of their way to cancel your efforts to keep your pollution output as small as possible by driving circles around you and deliberately forcing you to inhale their pollution so that you give up in frustration and resume driving so that you do not make them look like bigger bullies than you are.” At this time, I think that most people would side with Pig Gorl and say, “Well, she’s right! People do not like to see you walking when you could be driving. Hence, it is okay for those people to harass you and force you to inhale their toxic fumes in order to discourage you from walking instead of driving. They are doing it for your own good: to keep you from being such an eyesore on the roadside and to make your commutes easier and faster. You should be grateful for them micromanaging your movements and do what they implicitly demand.”
Another thing I should add to this journal is this: many people seem to think that I should not promote veganism because many people are addicted to eating meat and many people do not want to stop eating meat even though the meat industry (especially the cattle industry) uses up a lot of land space and outputs a lot of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere (which is a major contributor to global warming). This is to say nothing about the suffering which relatively sentient animals are forced to go through just to satisfy humans’ cravings for flesh. I have heard people flippantly suggest that vegans are irrational because vegans still justify eating plants (which are living organisms with rudimentary sentience). I personally draw the line between “okay to eat it” and “not okay to eat it” where there is a sufficiently complex nervous system (which is the only way I think an organism would feel pain). Related to this reasoning is my belief that it is ethical to abort human fetuses less than one month old (but older that that seems a bit inhumane because that is when the fetus is starting to develop a more sophisticated body than what a plant or an amoeba has).
Finally, in closing this journal entry, I wanted to showcase a tweet which I deleted about an hour after publishing it because it seemed a bit self pitying and, hence, inviting of ridicule from people who I imagine would take Pig Gorl’s side against me. The tweet screenshot below depicts a tweet in which I comment that I am an alien disguised as a human living amongst humans and having a hard time adopting their ways because their ways seem self destructive, short sighted, and violence mongering (as if all they really do is praise themselves for getting other people to do their bidding and to clean up their messes while they praise themselves for “doing the best they can with what they have” (and expecting sycophantic and mushy-sounding feedback from their social support networks for going through the motions of “normal” human life as though there is no other option)).
I decided to park the petroleum powered car I was borrowing from my parents back in its designated spot in my mom’s driveway so that no one can bitch about the car getting towed, ticketed, or broken into. I think the path of least resistance is to simply not drive that car anymore and to, instead, look for ways to live, work, study, and engage in my hobbies which does not require that I drive that car.
(One last thing: I depicted Pig Gorl as wearing a cross on her necklace because she is a Christian. What a Christian believes is that a demigod named Jesus was violently tortured and left to die after being nailed to a wooden cross and left out in the public square for the people to see. According the Christian allegory, Jesus was made immortal three days after he died and, as a result of his death, all humans from that point forward have been granted the “optional” gift of eternal life and special favoritism from God (i.e. the source of Jesus’ divine powers and authority). A human has the “choice” to either “repent” for falling short of God’s impossible-to-fulfill standards and to then accept Jesus as that human’s guide and savior from that moment forward or else to perish in Hell (i.e. a place which is presumed to be a torture chamber in which inhabitants live forever and experience inescapable and brutal suffering) for eternity following that human’s death as a consequence of refusing the gift of Jesus’ salvation and entrance to Heaven (i.e. a place which is presumed to be a paradise in which inhabitants live forever and experience no suffering). Pig Gorl seems to prefer that the Christian allegory be her basis for morality. She seems to condone that sentient beings be slaughtered so that she can profit from their sacrifice as the basis of her serenity).
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